Cheaters ONLY! Community Group
This group is for people who have had or are still having affairs and who want a safe place to get help and a place heal. If you are a BS, please be kind and not post in this group. Read all you want but please do not disturb the harmony. If negativity enters this group, it will be deleted. Good luck to all, and lets heal together.
Sometimes I really wonder that. I sometimes wonder if I was the B, why would I really want to know the truth about what my W was doing as long as she was happy and came home and was a great W and mother to my kids. I feel like in a way, during my A, I was actually a better husband and father because I was finally getting everything I wanted. If my W didn't know about it, how could it have hurt her or anyone else? I watched my own mother suffer through years of sexual frustration during the sexually repressed 50's, 60's, and some of the 70's. I wonder if she just went out and got laid once in a while if she would have been happy enough to come home and be a better mom. I wonder if my dad would have cared as long as she was happy and she gave everything while she was at home?
I am reminded of an episode of Friends with Joey's parents in the same situation. Joey found out about his dad's A, confronted him about it, and his mom actually got "pissed"! She said that his A was actually making him happy and easier to live with, so she didn't want to mess things up. Just thinking out loud I guess.
I am reminded of an episode of Friends with Joey's parents in the same situation. Joey found out about his dad's A, confronted him about it, and his mom actually got "pissed"! She said that his A was actually making him happy and easier to live with, so she didn't want to mess things up. Just thinking out loud I guess.
Also, I had a moment during my A where I thought the same as you: if I could just do this and if everyone were fine with it, I could come home, do my thing, be a better person at home, more cheerful, less demanding, etc.
But of course affairs don't work that way! My OM got possessive and wanted me with him more of the time and subsequently whined all the time we were together; meanwhile, my family at home continued to make demands of me, and husband was still tough and unappreciative. I ran myself ragged trying to please them all, and ultimately, I did not get what I needed, which was for someone to care for and appreciate me! It wasn't about sex... it was about wanting someone to love me.
So NO ... what you propose is not the answer. "Getting laid" might work for men, but it doesn't really work for women as a cure-all.
I think we can try to convince ourselves of anything. The sad truth is I could probably go back to that lifestyle quite easily but now that it's out in the open I won't.