Why would you still want to be with him? I think that is the question you have to ask yourself.

I haven't had a sexual conversation with my MM since April 4th. I'm going a little crazy wondering why. We talked just this morning, but things are different in a way that I can't name. It's odd and more than a bit disconcerting.

Why would I still want to be with him...? I wish I had the answer to that. It is something I need to reflect on and I am hoping the answer will come to me

I hear you on your concerns about your OM. It has only been a few days for me and I am very disconcerted indeed (I think, too, because he has totally ignored the few messages I have sent between when we last talked on Friday and today). it is awful when we can sense a change but can't put our finger on it. Have you asked him about it?

I wrote in my journal about a business arrangement he wants to start with me (or said he did last week). it is more than a little bizarre, so I can't describe it publicly. I fret that he has changed his mind about it, though it is ludicrous to begin with...I just want him to still want it with me. I fear for my sanity...

Sorry, jaded...your MM, not OM...

Friends can read my journal, though, so can see the details of this bizarre idea of his...

Acronyms don't really matter to me.

I haven't asked him for a few reasons, I think. Here's the list off the top of my head.

1. He's moving tomorrow morning, so I'm sure he's super, crazy busy.
2. I don't want to be pushy and needy and all of the things that someone does NOT want in an affair partner.
3. I'm afraid of his answer.
4. I'm afraid that there really isn't an answer he can give me.

Those last two are biggies.

'Afraid of his answer' would be the biggest for me, too. Though, sometimes I think it is better to know. It has been a roller-coaster for me. He is hot, then he is cold. I spend most of one day crying, then I am happy the next...

Wouldn't it be better to know, though? If it is an answer you don't want to hear, then you can grieve and get it over with.

i should probably take my own advice, but I don't feel strong enough yet...so I certainly understand where you are coming from.

I think it would be better to know. But then I'm afraid of that last one - that maybe HE doesn't know. Or worse, that he would lie to me. I know that my MM isn't like that, but I have so many fears around that because my husband WAS like that. He lied about basically everything. It's so difficult for me to put myself out there and risk getting the "I've just been really busy moving" answer that he will most likely give because I'm so afraid that isn't the truth that I'm not sure I would believe him.

Hi jaded and Cindy..
Boy can I relate.. I don't want to get too much information from my ex cause I'm afraid of the answers he will give me, and I just don't want to get all stressed out about it either..
Wish I had more to offer but unfortunately I don't, just wanted to let you guys know " I get it" and I'm here reading and listening and trying to get some advice to..
Hugs heard

That is a huge part of it...sharing and knowing that you are not alone. If I didn't have these groups, I might think I was the only one dealing with such a toxic situation.

I do think I am the only one who can spend a good part of the day staring obsessively at a picture of a penis. Sigh...

Hahaha... Cindy, I have also obsessed over a picture of a penis. Although mine was a more cut and dried case. I found a penis picture on my ex's phone. I know what you mean about knowing what his penis looks like, though. He had sworn he was just friends with this woman, and until that picture I had no proof.

What a horrible way to find out...

Yeah, but it actually was after I already found loads of texts and inappropriate jokes. He denied and denied. I was able to hold up that picture and say, "Come up with an excuse for THIS. You gonna try and say it's somebody else's dick?" He declared and finally admitted the truth.

Ok. I guess it wasn't such a shock then. I had someone tell me that they found out by someone showing them naked pictures of their wife on someone else's phone. If it were a sudden shock like that, it would be awful.