yes you are very selfish. IF things don't work you should have ended things with dignity instead of putting your husband throught this pain and humiliation. You chose the easy path, CAKE. Stop eating it, be honest, your kids will understand and your husband even though things were not fine, he was there fighting while you were there lying and betraying him. If you really think risking everything for the new person... I don't understand how he can trust you, if you cheated on your husband how can he trust you. He already know you can do something so low...

Thank you so much guachita, do you think choosing no one is the best thing to do. I was neglected with my husband for 12 years and he cheated to me as well. We always try to fix everything, he will be attached with me for few months and it will be the same treatment again, like i dont exist.

Hi. First, I'm sorry you were met with such a harsh response in a 'Cheaters Only' group. We're supposed to be a little more empathetic. You might want to post in 'Cheaters Anonymous' where more folks read and give slightly more compassionate responses.

That said, yes, you are being selfish by deceiving your husband and denying him all the facts. I've been there, so I get it. Affairs seem like an easy way out of a shitty marriage, but they're awful for everyone involved.

You may want to give yourself some time to work with a therapist to evaluate why you do this and how you can make changes, if that's what you want.

Thank you prettyanddumb12, I joined this group to get some advice. It doesnt matter how harsh the response will be. I even evaluated myself in a bad way. I know some people will understand & some will not.

I just need to release all the confusion in my mind & in my heart.

So question I am in love with the man I cheated with an I do love my husband just not happy we have been together 27 almost 18 married I have cheated quite. Few times an this one I had cheated on him once before I am In the sane boat an just want to know what did u decide