Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Hey so I'm a new member and I'm just really at the end of my rope. I've been married for 5 yrs in which there have been 8 infidelities on my part. Only 2 were sexual and the others were brief or just emotional. I've ended most of the relationships but 2 of them are on the back burner and 1 keeps coming back up I can't get him out of my mind I like the way I feel talking to him and I don't know why I can't pull away. I thought I might be a sex and love addict so I joined a support group for that but I quit multiple times due to the fear of having to disclose all my indiscretions to my husband. He only knows about 3 of them and he barely survived the last one. I do love him so much and he is an amazing husband and father so what the hell is wrong with me that I can't stop thinking about the other guys. Sometimes I think that I like the attention because I'm not their wife or mother to their children they talk to me simply because they want me sexually or otherwise it doesn't matter I'm wanted. Idk that's all I have for now thanks for letting me be here.
Like you, my H knows part of the story/problem. It's all so complicated. A couple of the regulars in this group were honest with their spouses and were given 'don't ask, don't tell' situations in their marriages. I feel like if I had "permission" to do what I do then maybe the novelty wouldn't be there.
Hang in there. We get it.
I feel like I am in the same boat. Like you guys my partner only knows some of my transgressions. The first time it happened I was honest with him and it nearly destroyed him and our relationship. He's since forgiven me and we were all good up until last week when I slipped up and had sex with someone anonymously. I don't understand either, I love my partner. He's so amazing to me and has always loved me with all of his heart and I feel like such a terrible person for betraying his trust. I know if I reveal what has happened to him it will be over and even worse, he will be so damaged by my betrayal. Trying to live with the guilt now and telling myself to just be the good person he wants me to be and loyal to him. Doesn't sound so difficult right? -_-
I too think it's an attention thing with me that may spur from when my father left my family when I was a child but I can't use that as a crutch to justify or explain my actions. I just feel like a jerk.