I'm not there, yet. My marriage has gone though so much since Dday. At this point I am still wondering what will become of us.

yes, and it is amazing. we are starting over and have found new love for each other. but dont get me wrong, it is still very hard and a day to day struggle.

I'm really interested in this. My deeper, more authentic self hopes and prays that all this difficultly in attempting to learn and practice self-control is WORTH it: that giving up the skirt-chasing will lead to a deeper, more enriching love than I've previously had in my marriage.

Probably a poor metaphor, but I keep coming back to it: I'm trying to give up junk food and hoping that a healthy diet of meat and potatoes will lead to me to a happier, more enriched life.

Please, anyone else who can describe the "amazing" love that fixingmylife is talking about -- pitch in! We strugglers need to hear more of it!

In the short time I have been married, i don't believe I've had that amazing love. Maybe moments here and there... this relates to deep rooted problems within my marriage, before the marriage, why we got married in the first place? This is largely because i don't believe i understood what love truly is..i'm still learning about it. i see glimpses of it, i've seen some struggles. when you go through a struggle together it seems to leave you both quite vulenrable and when you work through it together, there's a bonding, maybe that's what some couples who get through an A go through? That's when they find a different kind of love.

Maybe i'm also seeing a certain selflessness and forgiving nature i never imagined my H had...he always seemed so headstrong and fixed in his ways, no room for mistakes.. little did i know that he too is human. Sounds crazy, but i didn't know this man until now. I don't know. maybe it could have gone completely the other way.
TImothyfreeman- maybe the worth will be in the fact that it's honest, and true... it's not some cheap thrill or fantasy ..it's real. And with this clarity you can decide if you really want to be married to your W. What is a happy enriched life anyway?

I think the love that fixingmylife is describing is only gotten by fully giving yourself to someone. Meaning be with that one person mentally, physically, emotionally.
It can't be shared or the love spread among others. That's not to say you can't love two people at one time, but one is getting more of you. For example: I can't be sexually satisfied by another man (an AP) one evening, come home, and be completely in tune with another man. Another example: Since I've been clean, as I call it, really the only man that has my attention is my H. I'm way more in tune to how he flirts with me, messages he sends me, kindness he shows. There is no one distracting me.
But....like fixing said.....its still a day to day struggle. This weekend was crazy....must have been a full moon.

This is true Shoretimenow- giving yourself completely, mind body and soul. And solely to one person. how long has it been since D-day that it's still a struggle day to day?