I thought it was going to be closure for me to break it off. But she was so upset and now I just feel guilty for leaving it like this. My mind is playing tricks on me.

Sometimes you just have to go cold turkey and do what you have to do to block the person. change phone number, etc. It is so painful

Agree

i have been reading about how affairs can have drug-like effects on a person. how NC feels like withdraw. how quitting cold turkey is sometimes impossible. do you guys think that is true

Yes people do get ADDICTED to their AP's or what their AP's give them.

If you really have your heart set on getting out of the A , cold turkey, in my opinion the ONLY way to go.

Cold turkey will always leads to withdrawals and withdrawals hurts.

I've been in NC with my AP since Oct of last year and here is my withdrawal timeline.

The three months ( 90 days) hurts the most. This is when the withdrawal symptoms are at their MOST INTENSE levels.

After three months the withdrawal symptoms begin to fade.

At around six months the withdrawal symptoms go away and I began to feel normal again.

Hope that helps.

Big hugs.

You have to go total NC. You made it ten days before. I know you can do it again...

I just unblocked her only to realize that she has me blocked. feeling super upset...

Please reblock her so there's no temptation...I know it's hard. I did what you said yesterday and started the journal- you were right!!! It helped to have a place to put my head. You were strong enough to start this once you can do this again.

What is so weird she told me today she'll never get over me and still wants me.....but she's spending the holiday weekend with her new guy with her son. So less than 60 days out from last time we were together she is with another guy and spending time with him with her son..... Feels so sad..... She says she's moving on and if I want her do something right now.....

Any thoughts on this?

So right!!! Hard though

We once had a guy on here who had ended an A and was really in love with his AP and not so much with his W, whom he did admire and respect, but he wasn't feeling the love for her anymore. His W knew about his A and he was still in contact with his AP because he was trying to create a "soft landing" in ending the A. The problem was that since his wife knew about it his continued contact with his OW and devotion to helping her was killing his W. She needed him to commit 100% or let her go. It was a rough situation.

I would have loved nothing more than to create a soft landing with my OM. I wanted to do that so badly. If I had ended the A on my own and my H had not found out, I am quite sure I would have done it that way. I did not have that luxury so it was quite brutal. Especially the first 3 months. It did get gradually better after that.

Since you are still in contact with her and you both seem to be going in circles, perhaps you could at least approach it as a "soft landing." Say what you need to say, (I'm sure you already have) give each other all due sympathy (You've probably done that too) and then pick a definitive breaking point when NC will begin. Sort of like people picking a date to start a diet or quit smoking. That seems the most humane way to do it. This continuing drawn out communication is probably prolonging the agony. The final break is gonna hurt big, but delaying it too long won't prevent the inevitable. Sorry it's so hard.

We did it was yesterday but she wants an update on 8/1. I took off LinkedIn had already blocked FB. I have a main email account and now send her emails to spam. Hurts to know 60 days and vacation. I know most woman would have waited a bit more time. She must be hurting to introduce her kid to a new dude and not knowing him to even 6o days is pretty amazing and to take on a trip w the two is really f...g amazing.

Guess she moved right on should consider myself blessed

I always thought it would have been so much easier to handle the ending of the A with OM (he's single) if he found someone else. I know when he called me almost 2 years after Dday he was still single. That made me sad. I have wished many times that he would be able to find someone else and move on. I was finally able to really let go of worrying about that but it took an awful long time.

I'm actually doing the best today that I have done in two months. This thing affair nearly cost me everything!!!