Theres a woman who shares an office next door to mine who is a counselor, spiritualist, medium, etc. I don't know her well, but she's always friendly whe I see her and today I thought, what the hell. No, we didn't contact the spirits or cast spells. I talked. She listened. She sounded like a lot if you here. Need to grieve the loss of love and reweave - her word - the holes left by this loss. Easier said than done, of course, but she urged me to focus on rebuilding my marriage. Slowly, deliberately. I mentioned a few things, like couples therapy or beginning to sleep together again; we haven't slept together in years and years. She dismissed the couples therapy in a sense as too contrived. Instead, begin to reshape interests, talk, etc. reengage. As for the sleeping together, she made an interesting point. She said tht was a bit shitty on my part since I was looking for comfort in the face of my loss from the woman from whom I should have seeking comfort all these years. Interesting point. After I've taken some steps, I'm going to see her every so often.

And the second conversation was with my wife. On the phone as she's out of town. I talked about my current round of depression and chalked it up to financial stresses (true) but added the stress I genuinely feel and the sense that, in shit, us this all there is. No reference t xAP. w mad some good recommendations to get me out of my slump and out of my own head, a place I'm not crazy about these days. Volunteering. Our community has a long tradition of volunteering for all sorts of things. I could become a cout appointed special advocate for children in need. I can volunteer tab hospital. Or help in illiteracy programs. Not only could I do good for people worse off than me, these things open up be topics of communication with my w and kids.

Or am I being too ambitious.