Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
This seems to pretty accurately describe my H's OW and her broken psyche. Just curious if anyone else recognizes their OW in this description from Debbie Ford's book:
The seductress is after one thing and one thing only - to make herself feel better about who she is.
Birthed out of fear that she is not good enough, loved enough, and does not belong unless she is the object of someones attention, she searches until she finds a suitable target to trap in her web.
She's a predator because her main goal is to feed on the self-esteem of another in order to soothe her emotional wounds.
She spends her time thinking about how she looks and how other people perceive her. Her "catch" enhances her inner perception of herself and covers her self loathing.
The real danger of the seductress is that she doesn't know her own motives and her victims cannot see them. She doesn't care who she hurts or what cost her victim will incur. Her motives and moves develop over time as she learns the insecurities and vulnernabilities of her prey.
Her prey are men - often married , (a bigger kill she thinks) but they can be co workers or a boss or anyone in a position to serve her mission - to take others light and use it to fill the dark hole of her own emptiness.
She chooses to pursue those who appear to be more powerful than she is. Dangerous, poisonous, venomous - she speaks loudly and sometimes just a whisper "I will give you some love if you give me your power. I am going to make you feel better about yourself if you let me control you. I am going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear if you just make me the object of your affection".
The seductress is after one thing and one thing only - to make herself feel better about who she is.
Birthed out of fear that she is not good enough, loved enough, and does not belong unless she is the object of someones attention, she searches until she finds a suitable target to trap in her web.
She's a predator because her main goal is to feed on the self-esteem of another in order to soothe her emotional wounds.
She spends her time thinking about how she looks and how other people perceive her. Her "catch" enhances her inner perception of herself and covers her self loathing.
The real danger of the seductress is that she doesn't know her own motives and her victims cannot see them. She doesn't care who she hurts or what cost her victim will incur. Her motives and moves develop over time as she learns the insecurities and vulnernabilities of her prey.
Her prey are men - often married , (a bigger kill she thinks) but they can be co workers or a boss or anyone in a position to serve her mission - to take others light and use it to fill the dark hole of her own emptiness.
She chooses to pursue those who appear to be more powerful than she is. Dangerous, poisonous, venomous - she speaks loudly and sometimes just a whisper "I will give you some love if you give me your power. I am going to make you feel better about yourself if you let me control you. I am going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear if you just make me the object of your affection".
H never really revealed his true self to her. Just painted a picture of himself that he wanted her to see and worship - which she gladly did.
Alot of people wrote to ask me the name of the book - I highly reccommend it to BOTH the betrayed and the betrayers, it's called "Why Good People Do Bad Things" by Debbie Ford.