Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Thought my recent article would be appreciated, being it is a topic that applies equally to BSs and CSs.
http://healinginfidelity.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-key-to-communication-in-marriage.html
http://healinginfidelity.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-key-to-communication-in-marriage.html
We are discussing this a lot in therapy.
In my experience, we became so focused on the kids, the house, the bills, the "stuff" of all that is in a marriage. that we were not emotionally connecting. It was like we had a huge "to list" that was just checking off the boxes daily.
The "How was your day?" was answered by "Fine, yours"..."Crazy ..busy". And that was it. I was frustrated that my H couldn't open up to me.
My therapists feeling is that besides other things, one thing that may led me to the OM is our ability to talk about the "other things" because we didn't have the "to do" list to chat about, so being alone all we did was talk about how we felt about this and that..
One thing she suggested and we started out doing was taking 15 minutes at the end of each day to shut off the television, phones, sit quietly together and talk face to face with touching each somewhere-maybe a hand on the shoulder, holding hands, etc.
Its helped a little (slowly but surely, a work in process), its a change so it is met with its challenges. But it is a commitment that we both have to rise up to.