This actually made me laugh.

Looking at my chipped fingernail polish, my unplucked brows, and my shaved rather than waxed bikini line, I'd say that I agree 100%.

I think about this a lot. I felt I always had to be 'on' in case he ever called. Always. Like the perfect mistress....

Ironically, after the A, those things didn't matter as I was trying to deal with the aftermath of it...until my H said, "what ever happened to the waxing?" So.....clearly he was enjoying that too....and that's back. I do it for him and for us...not for anyone else... Is that TMI???

Now, I do miss nail appointments......but, Wresting....never ever ever a hair appointment. Only me and my colorist know the depth of these roots.....LOL.

I am a BS, I just want to be upfront. I had the other situation. I would wear Tshirts to bed, periodically wax, nails were hit and miss... Make-up? What's that? I worked in 120 degrees... So I just stopped wearing it, unless we went out. My underwater were butt covers, or boy shorts. I stopped wearing my VS thongs. My hair, was done 8-12 weeks. No real effort, it was nice but not amazing... I now have Doctors at work compliment me.

When I did do all this I never got any reaction, when I didn't, I didn't get any reaction.

After I found out about his A, I threw all my sports bras out went to VS spent 500+ on bras panties and nighties. I have gone to La Perla and thrown down $$$$$ if you don't know what La Perla is you are not spending enough $$ on your W.
My first advise to BS never ever wear a T shirt to bed! Nightie or naked!

I spend $$$ on myself, and my H realizes that I am specifically doing this for him... Because if he doesn't appreciate it, I am sure someone else will, after the divorce.

Just a little look from my point of view..

Great advice--many people get too comfortable in their relationships and let things slide in the appearance department. It seems very easy for this type of thing to happen, and it is easily preventable. I have read that people need to work at looking great for their partner all during their relationship, not just when they get to the point that things appear to be in jeopardy--as in go to the gym and work out etc. before you lose your partner and have to begin looking for someone else.

Because I feel that I look better without glasses, I try to wear my contact lenses when my boyfriend and I go out, or spend a bunch of time together. Sometimes wearing the contacts bothers my eyes, so often I wear my glasses, but I am lucky--he has informed me that he likes girls in glasses, especially me. :-)

But having said that, even though he has also told me that he likes me in t-shirts and jeans, when we go out, unless we are doing something physical like hiking or bicycling, I make every effort to dress better than that. I have found that he likes skirts, and I like wearing them because in my job I do not have to dress up--so that works for both of us! It is actually fun wearing pretty things.

I always wanted to look 100% for my OM. After the A ended though i found myself having to make a conscious effort to keep it up. I am in a new, healthy relationship now and I am making it a point to never get into that "comfortable" phase and "let myself go". He seems to be doing the same too. We both seem to work at looking good for ourselves and each other. Just like any relationship, it takes work. :)

Exactly, you do it for yourself not for anyone else.
I've never heard one man say he cheats because of what his wife wears to bed or because she wears glasses and not contacts.
It's starts in the mind, feel good about yourself inside, and it will all work its way out.

It's the whole process, if you feel good, you are more confident, if you CS is open to what makes them happy.. My CS felt I wasn't attracted to him by showing no effort.

One more thing if your OW didn't look sexy or have a 70's bush, I doubt you'd stick around.

Yes! When my scheduled waxing appt came up after I had ended it with OM, I remember thinking "Why bother?" Because it was very important to be "ready to go" at all times for him. But I stuck with it, and yes H does like it and perhaps more importantly, I like it!

When I was a BS, well right before I was a BS, my job & H's job caused me so much stress I let myself go.....to the point that I gained alot of weight, wore clothes that just fit, showered once a week & just did enough at home so the health dept didn't shut us down. It was no wonder my H screwed around on me.

Just when we were starting to get our shit together and with me wanting to "talk to someone" (H wanted no part of that), I reconnected with my old friend from 23 yrs ago. All of a sudden I felt motivated to make a huge change in my life.....lose weight....new clothes, peds and "grooming" (I do my own grooming, thank you) and....I felt young again. Such a huge life change...it's no wonder I fell into the fog.

Now? Gained the weight back & not getting peds every 2 weeks but I am maintaining my hygiene. Every day, first thing, I make my bed, take a shower and do my makeup....do the dishes every day and keep my house clean & organized.. At the very least, I want to be happy with me even if on the most basic level. I have hopes that will lead to bigger and better things. Waxing? What the hell is that? JK....:D

Clover and I are old school from back in the day when men were bushwackers.
Although, I have taken an interest in minimalist landscaping since those days.