Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
My counselor is suggesting a 30 day abstinence from all sexual activity.
I'm torn on two counts:
1). I already underwent a 45 day complete abstinence at D-Day. I can't say I enjoyed it (was a 2x/day self gratifier), but I proved to myself that I was capable of it. I learned a lot about myself physically and emotionally through that trial, I'm not sure what I'll gain by doing it again.
2). I'm separated from my W, and will be going back to school on Monday. I'm separated from my W, and will be going back to school on Monday. between the distance and the "target rich environment" I am thinking that there may be some use in "relieving tension". I have noticed in the past that self gratification will often reduce my aggressive flirtyness.
And yet I think that I've trained my body to a high level of dopamine kick, which I need to wean off of. The question is where/when/how? I'm not sure of the wisdom of going cold turkey at this very vulnerable moment. Like an alky deciding to quit on his way to a cocktail party?
Anyone else been here?
I'm torn on two counts:
1). I already underwent a 45 day complete abstinence at D-Day. I can't say I enjoyed it (was a 2x/day self gratifier), but I proved to myself that I was capable of it. I learned a lot about myself physically and emotionally through that trial, I'm not sure what I'll gain by doing it again.
2). I'm separated from my W, and will be going back to school on Monday. I'm separated from my W, and will be going back to school on Monday. between the distance and the "target rich environment" I am thinking that there may be some use in "relieving tension". I have noticed in the past that self gratification will often reduce my aggressive flirtyness.
And yet I think that I've trained my body to a high level of dopamine kick, which I need to wean off of. The question is where/when/how? I'm not sure of the wisdom of going cold turkey at this very vulnerable moment. Like an alky deciding to quit on his way to a cocktail party?
Anyone else been here?
I've gone all day today stifling urges (extreme physical activity helps) so we will see.
And thanks Teacher, for that. ;). (Dammit, am I seriously flirting on a cheaters forum? I'm a mess... :)
And I also don't think "women can just turn it off".
Or maybe that is part of my problem.
So speaking of TMI, I didn't make it through the night - not because I couldn't resist, but because I flat didn't want to (though maybe that amounts to the same thing). Confusing
Men, I've always thought, can easily engage is "empty" sex and find it pleasurable. Women deal with "whore guilt" of empty sex. Not all women, but the ones I've talked to do. Therefore they (we) need an emotional justification when there's another person involved; I have feelings for him, so it's okay". Personally, even in my whorish days I tried to find some emotional/intellectual common ground with my random (ish) hookups.
Isn't this why female hookers exist more than male ones? There is higher demand among the male population for the "one and done"?
Well that and any female, no matter what she looks like, can walk out into the world and fuck someone whenever she wants. At least I think so.
Idle thought: wouldn't our lives be easier and happier if we picked the name "uglyandsmart12"?