I am someone who used to post here and told my sordid story in detail back then (circa 2012). I am a woman in a long-term marriage who had met a man who turned my world upside down. I fell hard for him; he is a narcissist who kept me on his string whilst (I have since learned) running the same game on multiple other women, also with SOs (he had told me that I was the first married woman who had ever interested him). I had no clue what a narcissist even was until I started posting here and some fellow members told me that he showed all the characteristics of one. I have since learned much about it.

We had actual sex twice in 5 months. In between, we would have cybersex and he would plan dates, but always cancel. I was a mess and handled it badly. I sought out replacements for him, so ended up having multiple affairs (flings), including some play with couples. One of my affairs was a guy who conned me out of some money that he has yet to pay back, and I’m sure never will.

So Narc and I eventually drifted apart (we still chatted occasionally, but were no longer friends on Facebook, so contact was limited) and I stopped sleeping with other people. I instead got involved in an online role-playing game and found relationships there.

As you can see, I did not take the opportunity to work on my marriage and instead became addicted to the role play game.

About a year ago, Narc started chatting with me again. He told me that he couldn’t ‘shake me from his system’. I am not sure exactly when it turned physical but, unlike when we had two sessions in 5 months, this time it eventually became a regular thing (once, twice or even three times a week). Always, though, once it was over he would turn cold and distant and say that it could never happen again. Then we would chat and it would get hot and heavy, I would go over and we would have sex and then he would turn cold and distant and say it can never happen again. For the better part of a year this has continued. He can show what seems like real affection at times, then be very distant. He said he was eaten up by guilt but if so, why keep seeing me? He would say he wanted to be friends and I could visit if we ‘behaved’…but he’d be in bed naked when I got there…not exactly condusive to behaving…

Over the past two weeks, I noticed that he was colder than usual. When questioned, he told me that he has been ‘busy’ and is very short. He has ignored many messages sent to him. In the midst of this, we did meet once and have sex after he was briefly like his regular self. That was last Thursday, so almost a week. Yesterday, I was very upset and messaged him to ask if he was still going to take me on an outing we had planned. He said, ‘Sure, at some point.’ So then I said that he had seemed even more distant than usual and did he want me to go away for a bit. He said he had been busy and was sorry. I said, ‘No need to be sorry. I get it.’ He said, ‘Ok’. I said, ‘I love you, _____. Be happy.’ and I unfriended him. Today I noticed he had blocked me. I msgd his cell and asked about that. He said it is best for now. I agree with him, but I am in a lot of pain at the moment. I know NC is the best thing, but I still ache for him.

Oh, and I believe he has found another woman he has focused in on and that is why he distanced himself from me…