I am married to a man who I really do love and he is my best friend, I am however gay and he is aware of this. This has been fine until last year I met a woman, a lot older than me and kinda got swept away in it all, she told me she loved me she wanted me no matter what but she didn't want me to leave my husband as she had no job and had to move in with a friend.
Lots of times I tried to end it and say we should be friends she didn't want it, everytime I tried to question things she would get upset and cry. She would blank my messages for days, I always came last in when she would see me, she wouldn't tell her friend about me but claimed to really love me.

In October I had a breakdown and was admitted to hospital, she texted a few times then just cut contact. I called, texted a lot over the months till now she finally messaged me and said she is in a bad place, everything got on top of her. She loves me but she can't be in love with anyone at the moment but she isn't over me and wants to meet up, though she said she is busy and doesn't know when, something that happened when we were together a lot.
She said she wants me and misses me etc but she is really confused, every time I ask anything this is her response and she tells me what a wonderful person I am and I deserve the best.

I am so confused because the way she acts is like I should act I guess or people would expect me to react given I am married.

No one really understands it and say just stop talking to her but my heart just will not let go but I am so scared of having another breakdown, even when I told her how much pain I was in over the months she didn't reply or they will say I need to leave my husband but my marriage is a happy one, I know people do not get that but this isn't about him or our marriage, it is about me, does that make sense?

I have looked for somewhere to get support for so long