I don't want to know.
I just worry that mine will come out after I'm dead (if I go first). That would suck for the other person..I think even more than a discovery when all are alive .

Like the movie " The Bridges of Madison County."

I know my H tried to sleep with my best friend. I knew it in my heart despite his protestations and then it was confirmed adter I left him. All it did was erode my love for him. I'm glad I know now because not knowing tore me up. I would rather have had full disclosure early on so that I could have dealt with it properly.

I would want to know because it would give me a reason to end it. He has joked about getting a mistress when he doesn't get sex from me as often as he would like. I'm thinking "Do it!", I guess because I don't want to be the bad one (or the the only bad one anyway).

You can bet that i knew - he denied it but I stayed until I had total confirmation of my suspicions. I still stand by wanting to know. I can't go through life with rose-colored glasses on; it's just not my style. I am all about honesty. LOL!! Isn't THAT a laugh coming from a cheater.

Recent past and/or now: Absolutely I'd want to know. If I found out I was running around doing things for him and dealing with in laws etc. while he was spooning in a hotel room with someone....oh yeah....I'd want to know....so I could go personally to the hotel room, throw the keys at her, and SHE could do all his running around and deal with his crazy family. And I also could care less who told me or how I found out.

Distant past?: No, not at all. I think if he had an indiscretion years ago, rectified it, worked through it and then moved forward, no I don't need to know.

This was actually the subject of many discussions in therapy for me.

Tulips, the entirety of my marriage I have had the same thought. If only he would have an affair . . .if only some other woman would take him off my hands. Unfortunately no such luck.

When we were separated he did go on a couple dates with another woman, but he claims they didn't sleep together because she had her period. Whatever. The thought of it doesn't affect me at all emotionally, as we are so detached already.

But even if I was in a "happy" relationship, I'd want to know. As GirlCrush said, I don't want to go through life with rose-colored glasses on. I'd rather know what's actually going on, and live in reality, in control of my own life, not living a life based on lies I'm being told.