There is an incompleteness that can't be filled by any but God as darn has mentioned that occurred after the fall.

We all have deep seeded issues of identity and purpose that leaves us wanting.

There is a spectrum of things people pursue to find their worthy. On this forum it isn't money, fame, or beauty, it is external validation from marriage/affairs. What many have experience is that this type of external validation didn't bring then any lasting peace nor did the affair.

Pursing happiness at the cost of others only brings misery and damaging your identity and self worth through these actions further damages your self image.

I would suggest that pursuing God and following the examples laid out brings much more peace and joy than alternative pursuits.

You are definitely not the only one and your words spoke to me. I HATE feeling like that! I think it might be a control thing too...when I hear from him or get what I need in terms of affirmation, affection, physical contact, etc., then I’m good again. It feels secure when the ball is back in my court. I realize it’s super unhealthy to base my temporary happiness and self worth on what attention I get from a man, but that’s pretty much what it is. And it’s obviously my issue. Embarrassing and frustrating. Ughhhhh

I am the same way. This is what was part of my cheating. I felt like i constantly needed attention. While I didnt get bored in my relationship, I sought validation if my husband wasnt giving me the attention I needed for a second. I am learning through this hell storm that I do not know how to do anything alone, and that I NEED constant attention. That is not realistic. I am trying to get closer to God to fill that void. I need constant affirmation of love and affection, which became exhausting for my husband. My father left when I was 3 to have another life and another daughter with his mistress, so thats where some of it comes from as I have learned from venting to my therapist. Lean towards the Lord. He needs to be the one that fills our hearts with joy and gives us completeness..not our significant others, not our friends. I am learning the hard way now that my husband is divorcing me..I begun to do things on my own, take myself places, and depend on myself, and I am slowly leaning more towards the Lord. Thank you for sharing and venting.

You are not alone. I'm there too and it sucks. Kind of a living hell on earth carrying around an ever-present void. Some describe it as having a black hole inside that is impossible to fill.
With a lot of very hard work, I'm told that relief is possible. I've embarked on that journey before, but never took the time to complete it, so, here I am, in the ashes of another burned down relationship, and effectively back at square one. Perhaps this is the time I'll actually make it happen.
Good luck to you and hang in there, but most of all, make today the day you start actually doing something about it!

Thank you all

I am, without a doubt, your classic 'attention whore'. Sadly, the beast cannot be satisfied; it'll always need more. The only true way to kill it is to find that love within yourself.

I'm still working on this. Every single day is a work in progress.