Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
First I apologize in advanced for those who possibly will disagree with what I'm about to say.
As promised my confession of my break through is about to be posted.
As those who know, I was the one who cheated on my boyfriend. This was almost two months ago, and one month and 5 days since we talked. Tonight that changed. The current time is 4:19AM and a hour ago he texted me waking me up. Saying that he hopes I'm well and he's been thinking of me. Now if this was a month ago then I would have fallen for him no questions asked. But tonight was a completely different story. I actually hated the conversation we had. Because he brought up how I unfollowed him on social media. I told him I was advised to stop if I wanted to get better. He automatically said it was probably my guy friends or guys that wanted to be with me who said it. Strike one! It was my therapist who advised it. We casually talked for ten minutes through text about what's new and what not. I even, once again, apologuzed to him for the mistakes I made while we were together. But as it almost ended he a remark about my judgements being up to myself and my therapist. Strike two! I make my decisions and get advice from those I ask advice from. Then he brings up his lone wolf stereotype, saying things that made me angry. Tried explaining to him that my changes helped me greatly and sometimes the changes we explore and accept are the best kinds. He just shut it out and said good night and left it at that, strike three!
So after we ended the conversation it made me think more and more as to why I did what I did in the first place. I instantly, for the first time, had the thought in my head,"I seriously was with this man?" I was with someone who indirectly belittles others. So closed minded, Ill tempered, and who guilts trips people when it's not deserved. I did what I did because honestly I was scared of him. He repressed me, made me feel smaller and infurrior. I lost who I was for the time we were together. It's sad that I say this when he is eight almost nine years older than I am and he still acts this was and had this outlook on life. I thought more about it and I repressed him too. I saw that from his social media with the post about his single life and lunch with an ex. I realized that if that's the life he wants then I can't hold him back and sit here hoping he wants me back. I lost a piece of myself with him,that I found when I was with the other guy. I could be me, I was free and exhilarated. I stayed with him though because I felt I still loved him. I had to have the sensation that I could be myself though. That I could finally just be me. The type if girl who could love her comic books, feel the bright theatre lights, figure out my career goals, and let my creativity shine with my original ideas. I felt like me.
Through my therapy sessions and even being on here with you guys I've learned the biggest change of all. I can love whom ever I want in life. There will be tough decisions down the road and I can only hopefully take the high roads when faced with difficulties. Most importantly I have to love myself and welcome change with open arms. I will change for me, I will find love again, I will never lower myself in any aspect of life, but most important I will always love myself.
As promised my confession of my break through is about to be posted.
As those who know, I was the one who cheated on my boyfriend. This was almost two months ago, and one month and 5 days since we talked. Tonight that changed. The current time is 4:19AM and a hour ago he texted me waking me up. Saying that he hopes I'm well and he's been thinking of me. Now if this was a month ago then I would have fallen for him no questions asked. But tonight was a completely different story. I actually hated the conversation we had. Because he brought up how I unfollowed him on social media. I told him I was advised to stop if I wanted to get better. He automatically said it was probably my guy friends or guys that wanted to be with me who said it. Strike one! It was my therapist who advised it. We casually talked for ten minutes through text about what's new and what not. I even, once again, apologuzed to him for the mistakes I made while we were together. But as it almost ended he a remark about my judgements being up to myself and my therapist. Strike two! I make my decisions and get advice from those I ask advice from. Then he brings up his lone wolf stereotype, saying things that made me angry. Tried explaining to him that my changes helped me greatly and sometimes the changes we explore and accept are the best kinds. He just shut it out and said good night and left it at that, strike three!
So after we ended the conversation it made me think more and more as to why I did what I did in the first place. I instantly, for the first time, had the thought in my head,"I seriously was with this man?" I was with someone who indirectly belittles others. So closed minded, Ill tempered, and who guilts trips people when it's not deserved. I did what I did because honestly I was scared of him. He repressed me, made me feel smaller and infurrior. I lost who I was for the time we were together. It's sad that I say this when he is eight almost nine years older than I am and he still acts this was and had this outlook on life. I thought more about it and I repressed him too. I saw that from his social media with the post about his single life and lunch with an ex. I realized that if that's the life he wants then I can't hold him back and sit here hoping he wants me back. I lost a piece of myself with him,that I found when I was with the other guy. I could be me, I was free and exhilarated. I stayed with him though because I felt I still loved him. I had to have the sensation that I could be myself though. That I could finally just be me. The type if girl who could love her comic books, feel the bright theatre lights, figure out my career goals, and let my creativity shine with my original ideas. I felt like me.
Through my therapy sessions and even being on here with you guys I've learned the biggest change of all. I can love whom ever I want in life. There will be tough decisions down the road and I can only hopefully take the high roads when faced with difficulties. Most importantly I have to love myself and welcome change with open arms. I will change for me, I will find love again, I will never lower myself in any aspect of life, but most important I will always love myself.
minspa
Great post, Tori! When you love and respect yourself, meeting the right person becomes easier, as you know what you want and deserve in a partner and that you won't tolerate any crap. Kudos.
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