My affair began years ago as a slow burning emotional affair and had grown into a full-blown sexual one. I would have never thought I could do such a thing, yet I have.

I have known the OM for most my life. He was my first love. We were great friends in our teenage years (never had sex, but was affectionate), and he rejected me to "play the field". We both went our separate ways, both now in our 40s, married with kids. Looking back on how the A all began, it was easy for him to wiggle his way back. We have such a connection that is hard to understand. For me, it's probably hurt pride from the past and the longing to be wanted by him.

My H is a loving partner and great father. I feel terrible for doing this to him. I hate the feeling of what this might do to the OM's wife as well! I think over and over that I'll end it, but when he calls or texts, I lose all my good sense. I do love both the OM and my H. It's crazy. I would be crushed if my H found out. I have to end it. Don't know how.