Yep, everything besides recovery and retaining my relationship has fadding in the realm of meaninglessness. I have barely been able to sit thru a whole move since D DAY. My mind is on other things. I woudl rather be with my man. Or her on DS figuring out HOW to get him back. He is kinda back now. But it has been 10 months since d day for me. and things are finally starting to go in the direction i want them to, and slowing i am findin new interests. finally i can focus enough to work. for a long time i had to force my self to do other things.

Looking back, my H who is an avid dirtbike rider, totally lost interest in anything he couldn't do in his mancave. That was where he spent his time with OW. He actually only went riding once during his A. He usually went 3 or more times a month. It was reassuring to me to have him refocus on that aspect of his life since dday. As for me, I lost interest and focus in everything. I felt like if I didn't spend every moment focused on him that he would go back to her. I couldn't even leave the house because during the A he would text her the minute I walked out the door. I even had a panic attack while shopping in Walmart with my son. After 14 months, I'm so happy that my life has gotten back some sense of normalcy.

3GuysMom, for me, I hated to be out in public for fear I would see OM. I would get panicky in the store for fear he would suddenly appear. Not too likely but possible since we do live in a med/small town. I still find myself alert for him when I am in public. For the first time H goes shopping with me most of the time. I really love that. I know it's only been 2.5 mos but I do feel like myself now sometimes and I like that.

I actually have spent the past 14 months avoiding places where I may run into her because truthfully, I can't say what I'd do if I saw her. I hate that I can't walk at the lake I used to enjoy so much because she takes her son there. I avoid the parts of town near her home. She met my H in a radio chatroom, so I avoid concerts and street fairs because the probability that she could be there is high. I even avoided taking my boys to a zombie walk at Comic-Con because she participated in one a couple years ago. I hate everyday that I've had to edit my life when I did nothing wrong. I've been so emotionally unpredictable since dday that I just don't want to chance it. After H told me what kind of car she drives I would pull up next to them on the road to see if it was her. I even scared another woman one day. I feel bad, but it's like something possesses me. I'm proud of myself that I know her address and I have never tried to even drive by her home. I'm getting to that place of being back in complete control. I haven't acted compulsively in awhile.

3guys, its been 4 years since my d-day and I still avoid the town the OW lives in. I fear I will surely go to jail if I should cross her path.

Gabrielle, What you are describing is very common. And it will fade. The saying is true, time heals all wounds. Just no one knows the timelines..........good luck it sounds like you are on the road to a healthy recovery. Pat yourself on the back.