No, I don't believe that's true, but that's only my opinion. We chose to be who we want for whatever our reasons, and chose to get help to fix it or not. Don't let a quote define you.

Not always, but it isn't a good foundation for a new relationship. Get IC and figure it out.

Go away Troll!

what is a troll? Im new to this and just trying to find out

Yesican27

Definition of a troll.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29

yesican....you are a troll too. And desertflower.....you know better. Stop recreating yourself!

thank you

clovermoon- I wast trying to be a troll. I'm genuinely on here for help. I'm just trying to understand. Surely, we've all been new at something before

Ok, so if you're not a Troll, you are someone who's in an R without being married....either one of you. Generally this site is for people who are married in A's. Just that. Don't know what kind of advise you are looking for being you are single & she is single also. Doesn't sound very complicated to me.

Single people who need help with NC can go here too. Clover.

This place is not just for married people.

I've cheated but I don't consider myself a cheater. I think that's just something that people who haven't cheated (ignorant people) say.

It's possible for anyone to cheat. Especially if they're hurt enough. That doesn't mean they're going to go on cheating all the time.

I wouldn't say that.. People always have the capability to change. I would say that once that line has been crossed it is much easier for it to happen again. So "Once a cheater, always at a higher risk to cheat again" perhaps? Just my experience

thanks for all your input guys and gals, makes for a much clearer perspective!

NO-I'm from the one and done camp!

My therapist said that it is definitely not true. After my A was over I felt so lost and scared. I didn't trust myself anymore at all and I didn't feel safe that I could be strong enough to maintain NC with my OM or even to never let something like that happen ever again. My therapist told me that most women who have an A and end up devastated and recommit to fidelity will never let it happen again. That gave me a tiny seed of confidence to begin to move forward and rebuild trust in myself again.