Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.

943 Members

4,471 Posts

0 Online

Gabrielle48 03/14/2013

If your A is over and your SO (Significant Other) knows about it; by what manner were you confronted, or in what way did you out yourself. Please tell your story. Here is mine:

My H had discovered my A in the wee hours of the morning while reading the key logger that he had installed on my computer that very day. I had broken my rule to never talk about my real life to my "cyber friends" and had confessed my A, via chat, to one of my cyber sex buddies in full detail. That was what he read. The next day I had the afternoon off and he came home for lunch. I had teased him by text about having sex while he was home for lunch. when he walked in the door I was in the kitchen. He pulled a chair into the middle of the living room floor and sat in it. I saw him there and was curious and went and straddled him and sat on his lap facing him. He put his arms around me, our faces no more than 6 inches apart. I noticed his face was flushed and he looked somber. that is when he confronted me. When I realized the gig was definitely up I made a full confession to him without ever moving. We stayed in that position the entire time. At least half an hour.

Gabrielle48 03/14/2013

If you are a BS, please tell how you confronted, or were told.

lebe 03/14/2013

When I was a CS I told my partner over SMS. He had no idea I was cheating, but I couldn't live with myself any longer. I felt terrible and wanted the lies off my chest so I could either patch things or move on.

When I was the bs I found out using apple iCloud. He had it activated and I checked it (there was hacking involved)...what I found out shocked me as his betrayal was really extreme.

deleted_user 03/14/2013

I am the BS- I knew something was wrong but couldn't pinpoint it.. I was told by the OW about my H after he sent her an email trying to break it off with her. She told me by text (gotten my number out of his phone)- I was also texted a few short video clips of their conversations together. I then of course confronted my H who gave a full confession of the 6 week affair in tears with an apology. The OW thought that there was a better chance of me leaving my H if she told me rather than he told me and it was her attempt to get him by default I suppose. It was very traumatic for me and it will take a long time for me to forgive him- it did shed a total new light on the OW to my H- the fact that she was secretly taping 10 seconds here or there of their conversations made it clear that she was always planning to hurt me if he left and she was not at all the person he thought she was. It knocked him out of the fog very quickly.

whodathunk 03/14/2013

I am the BS. W drank a lot the night before going on her conference trip, where I was joining her the next day for an overnight vacation. She left the home computer on with her dedicated Gmail account open that was only for her and him. She left the next morning in a hurry. I was several hours behind her and happened to go in the computer room and saw the gmail open, completely blank. My gut told me to look. No email, one contact, but the trash was not emptied. I read enough of the first email to know it was not right and forward email after email as fast as possible to my account. I had to stop to take my son to school. Got home, gmail was shut down, then she started calling and paging me (back then we had pagers). She was offensive, "Why aren't you answering-return my call right now". Then she was asking nicely. Then sounded worried. I drove the hour and decided in the parking lot of the resort to read the emails. Boom. I demanded she immediately meet me in her room or I was packing up and leaving. I asked for every detail, and she told me everything. OM called during to see if she was okay. That added fuel to the fire. She said it was over, we are still together today.

whodathunk 03/14/2013

I since thought about hiring a private investigator, putting a gps on her car, key tracker, on and on. Decided I would not live that way. Glad I didn't. If it happens again that is it. Only one mulligan for sex with another man.

JustUGH 03/14/2013

I found out via my kids and their father. My H had tried to break off the relationship in December, but was remaining "friends" because she continually threatened to either out him to everyone or commit suicide. As a last ditch effort to get us to split up, she sent photos of them having sex to each of my children via Facebook. My son confronted my husband, who told him that, yes it was true, but it was a huge mistake and it was over. My son gave my H a week to tell me. My H couldn't bring himself to confess, and was planning suicide when my son and daughters called me over to my son's house. My first husband was there visiting, and all 4 of them sat me down and told me. Fortunately, much of what the OW had told my children was NOT true, and so she lost a lot of credibility right away. I went home to confront my H, he ended up hospitalized for being suicidal. It's been a long 2 years (this month), but he's better, we're better, and I'm better.

deleted_user 03/14/2013

X is a serial cheater. Found out by checking the numbers he had programmed into his cell phone. He lied, and then he lied some more. One particular OW, the worst of the bunch, stalked me online, he told me it was over and he lied. It ended when she called my home and ended it!

THAT WAS FUN! Just makes me feel worse about what I did and IMSE!

Join the Conversation