See my reply on the previous post. You are already lying to your AP and your hubby. You know you are going down a dangerous road that leads to nothing but hurt and heartbreak. Trust me...you need to end this now. If these are the questions going through your mind, it's not a healthy relationship.

But to answer your question...when my hubby found out, he did not yell or scream or hurt me. The anger he had was all directed towards my AP (easier to be angry at him for seducing/manipulating me because he just could not believe I would have done this willingly or initiated). Towards me, he cried, he wnted to know what he did wrong, told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me. He suddenly thought that I didn't love him and didn't want to be with him. He said he would never leave me but suddenly he was living in fear of coming home and finding that I had walked out on him. And that hurt on his face and in his voice is something that I will never EVER forget. I almost wish he would have hit me or been angry or raised his voice. THAT is what I deserved. But knowing that I had deeply hurt the man I loved knowing that he did nothing wrong fed the guilt and hurt me more than a physical blow ever could have. and now I am crying writing this as I remember that day.

you do NOT ever want to go through that. Or even look at your hubby knowing that he is a completely innocent person who has done nothing but love you and yet you are contemplating going behind his back knowing that it wont last.

Silversprin amen couldn't said it any better!!

Please turn it off now trust those who are here we know the road!!

Oh man you have me crying now, I am such an emotional basketcase over this. I need to find the strength to stop this before we meet in person in August. I tried today but it wasn't even a real effort, I was hoping he'd break it off and of course he didn't.

I wish I could be there to help you. But the best thing to do is to RIGHT NOW just block his number on your phone, delete him off facebook, do whatever you have to do. If he calls, do NOT answer the phone. If he texts, delete them. Block his email. It will suck...trust us. BUt the suckage factor of spiraling deeper into an affair and then getting caught sucks WAY worse. you don't owe him an explanation. you owe him nothing. Everyone here has your back. We have been there. We know the pain. and dont want anyone else ot go through it. ever.

Ditto to Silver.....I wish he would have hit e instead.....

My AP told me that years ago his wife cheated on him and when he found out he shoved furniture around and broke things. He was single during my A.

When my H found out he was just stunned. He waited till the next day to confront and he talked to our priest first so he was quite composed.

When my h found out the first time around He was clam at first begging me to stay. I was a chicken Shit and asked for an immediate divorce on dday.. I keep telling him I wanted a divorce and after a long discussion that night, He started shaking the chair I was sitting in so I called the police and had him removed from the house.
After 2 years apart we remarried, and rarely speak of it unless we start drinking and his true feelings start coming out. The A was 20 years ago, but never forgotten..
I don't think my way was the right way to handle the A, because I've been back with my OM now for the past 4 years, but currently trying to end it but I'm struggling..
Take it from someone that is going thru a cluster f*UCLA right now.. things never really work out when in these types of situations. NEVER....save yourself a lot of pain and hurt and end it before it really gets impossible to do
Heard

Silversprings your husbands reaction broke my heart and just gave me more strength to let this go (in my head now) and love that man. My husband would react the same way.

Mary, they are so right.....I tried multiple times to end it. I joined this site in November when, to the best of my recollection, things were fine with us...I didn't have the impetus to get out for 2 1/2 months. I can't stress enough.....go with your gut...the longer it goes on the worse it is....

even just writing about my husband reaction brought back lots of hurt and tears. and it actually gave me the resolve to go in and sever the final tie that my OM and i had...something as trivial as a secret FB group with our mutual running friends. Even though he blocked me from FB some of our running friends would post pictures and updates with him in it and i would see him that way. But seeing as how i am no longer writing a book with him and no longer speaking to him...i guess i have no need to see how his running career is coming. He is out of my live on a daily basis....now i just have to keep working to get him out of my heart so i have all the room for my husband who i really do adore and will prove to him every day that i love him and would never hurt him like this again.

My ex is a very sweet person. He never was violent. If anything, I worried if he would hurt himself. But I confessed about my cheating thousands of miles away from him, so I do wonder if he would've pimp-slapped me.

And yes you have the strength to stop it. Go get some sex toys or something. If he texts you, text him something about your husband. For example:

Him: Hey beautiful, can't wait to see you in August {smiley face}

You: August is my husband's birthday. We are going to make love all night long. {who cares if you're lying}

Him: {Says something smart and manipulative because he wants to be the one having sex with you. Do not think that he really likes you. Trust me, he just wants sex.}

You: {Delete all text messages then proceed to NC}

See? Simple. Set the boundaries, commit, rinse and repeat.

Justdrifting--you kinda crack me up. Love your brutal honesty!

Well the OW in our case got beat when her H found out the second time. He must of got violent with the poilce after they were called. So now her children's father is locked up for a long time. That A caused to two families to be tore up and both with innocent children! So absolutely sad & heart breaking.