Welcome. I suggest making some friends here and keeping a journal. It has helped many of us see this process through.

I know financial stability is a huge reason to stay, but everyone deserves to be happy. Leaving an unhealthy marriage could lead to strength and self-discovery. Even when the relationship is shit, cheating is not the answer. (Experienced cheater here). I have found that in myself, cheating is closely tied to low self esteem and a host of other issues I owe it to myself to resolve.

Best of luck to you on this difficult road.

You may want to consider finding a new therapist as it doesn't appear he/she has help you go in the right direction or develop and cope in a healthy manner.

As well, you may want to stay away from married men as you don't want to play a part in the ruin of other families given what your husband has done to you in the past.

Hey, 60 is the new 40 & you're certainly old enough to know what you want out of life & what will make your life a happy one. At this age, unless we are independently wealthy or at the very least, content with a lot less than we have now, we have to find ways to be happy in our present situation. If your husband is a narcissist, then I'm sure he feels it's HIS money that has supported you all your married life. Also, at this age, we just don't want to go thru the hassle of a divorce, fighting tooth & nail for what is legally ours. I know my H is scared to death if I left him, I'd get half of his precious treasure. AND who will wipe their asses when they become bedridden from old age.

If you are truly happy, then go for it. But please don't take chances & get caught. And don't expect any of your lovers to want something permanent bc the chances of that working out are about 2%......not good odds. My lover had me thinking I was the best thing that ever happened to him. We were old friends that reconnected after 25yrs apart. He ended up dumping me after 2 yrs for a much younger version & I was left devastated from it. After that he did divorce his wife of 35 yrs about 3 yrs ago. Now he's in a relationship with a nice woman but I know he's not happy. You know what he used to point out to me? Older men or widowers have a much better chance of getting remarried. Did you ever notice those elder travel clubs where they bus everyone, how many men there are as opposed to women? There's about 4 men to 50 or more women. That tells you your odds of getting another man after a certain age. It's something to think about.

If this is how you want to live your life, then go for it. I do not think you owe it to your H to honor your vows if he doesn't.

BUT as forwardmotion said stay away from married men.

Wouldn't it be a better idea to talk to a lawyer and find out what your rights are? Where I live you would have permanent alimony. You do not have to suffer consequences - go no contact and communicate through your lawyers.

You are not going to find a decent man when he learns you are a cheater.
You will only be a side dish.

Wow, almost the same as me. Only I've been in a 35 year relationship with a woman that I actually had to "raise" along with my own kids. She was so immature and needy, and treated me more like an employee than a husband.
My heart goes out to you. Believe me, I looked around for that passion, love and tenderness that we all need. I personally don't care who it comes from, people need people. I also finally separated from her 3 years ago, and she STILL holds back on getting a divorce, and YES we are also married mainly for financial reasons. You aren't the only one in that situation. I finally realized that I was happier on my own that I was with her. Good luck to you.