Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Sitting in the airport waiting for my connecting flight. I will be gone for ten days, two cities and lots of free time. My colleagues and I are encouraged to hit the town and network, all paid for by the company. It sounds like a dream scenario....right? Yet I feel extremy apprehensive about the coming week. I met TOTGTM on a trip just like this. Ever since then It's as if she opened up a hole in my soul and I am trying to fill it with the affection of other women. All while my beautiful wife is at home. I know I am trying to escape a mundane home life with the stresses of kids, a mortgage, etc..... but I'm addicted.
I don't really have a purpose for this post. I don't have a question and I don't need help per say. I know what I should do, I just don't trust myself to do it. Just venting I guess. I need to start a journal! Haha.
Time to board my flight......:/
I think you have to decide what you really want, where the deficits are, what can be done or not done.
I actually went away a few months ago, I was completely alone for a few nights, and felt a strong temptation......it was BAD......someone from here actually said this to me and I'll pass it along to you (I can't remember the exact quote, I'm paraphrasing) "Anyone you meet when you are half way across the country will be a stranger, you will never see them again, will that really fulfill you and that will also be the time they give you something...." That was all I needed to hear.
But, that, ultimately is just putting a bandaid on it....although I do think (based on what I saw, etc) that the temptation IS strong for a lot of people when they are away on business.
And that will be overcoming one hurdle and sometimes you need to just celebrate that.
CLOVER?!?! Hotel room, old movies, and BOB? Get out, take a walk, go shopping (!), I bought a nice new watch.....look at some new architecture.....I love fountains too.
Alright maybe I did use BOB once......or was it 4 times? 6?
If my boss sent me on a trip like that, encouraged me to network, entertain... Spotted me with blow $... I might wonder what he and my beautiful wife might have in common back home..
Clover has some good practical advice. Although maybe a BOB wouldn't work quite as well in your case. But put that free hotel lotion to good use. Just get the demon off your back.
And try to find a different hobby to deal with your stress. Boxing perhaps.
I wanted to, oh how I wanted to. But I asked her to leave.
I was reminded of something a friend from DS told me. Simple words but that is why I stopped.
I appreciate everyone's input here. If I didn't know the pain you have gone through I know I would be putting myself through it myself. Good night.
Sometimes all you can do is baby steps.....if doing one day at a time is too much, do one hour at a time.
That's exactly what I'm doing today. It comes and goes but some days we can't look at the big picture, just the few hours in front of us....and those hours add up.
I did some things I regret but no major lines were crossed. Tired of fighting it....
Thanks for the support. It absolutely helped.