Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
People say you never really truly "get over" an affair. Well, I had one that lasted 2 years over 20 years ago. I was married, still am with the same man who knew about the affair. He is wonderful and has forgiven me. We are some of the lucky ones who survived that period and we are still happily married.
Just recently, I google my ex-lover and found out he died at the scene of a motorcycle crash in October 2014.
I was depressed all weekend, crying hard at times and needless to say my husband noticed. I told him about the death, he was very supportive. Now I am very distracted, getting flashbacks of those days together with my ex-lover. I am sure this part of the normal grieving process. Honestly, years have passed that I did not think of him except maybe after an occasional dream. I knew when it ended that it had to stay that way. I confess I have always had a desire to see him again and now he is gone forever.
When will these feelings pass??
Just recently, I google my ex-lover and found out he died at the scene of a motorcycle crash in October 2014.
I was depressed all weekend, crying hard at times and needless to say my husband noticed. I told him about the death, he was very supportive. Now I am very distracted, getting flashbacks of those days together with my ex-lover. I am sure this part of the normal grieving process. Honestly, years have passed that I did not think of him except maybe after an occasional dream. I knew when it ended that it had to stay that way. I confess I have always had a desire to see him again and now he is gone forever.
When will these feelings pass??
Big hugs to you and I'm sorry for your loss!
It WAS a long time ago but the feelings are still there. It's funny that while I felt incredible sadness, part of me was a little relieved that I wouldn't ever be tempted to contact him again. He is gone, no more temptation. I felt awful for feeling that way. I just hope he found some happiness in life. He was a great guy. Maybe I will see him again in the afterlife.
Yes it's so true my poor husband suffered plenty. I have been careful not to dwell on it and not sulk around the house, like I'm carry a torch for my xAP. Luckily, I do have someone I can talk to about, another women who shares a similar story. She has been wonderful. I am coping and if I don't feel I am coping enough, I will go see my old therapist, she know all about what happened. The worst thing to do is stuffing your feeling down.