Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I'm only 21, and my husband and I have a very new marriage. Like very new. But I've cheated on him three times and I feel terrible. Twice was with a guy I know from school, and the last time was with an ex of mine just last night. I've never cheated sober, only when blacked out drunk. Literally to the point that if they would have helped me get dressed and put me in another room, I wouldn't have even known this happened. And I'm very upset with both of these guys. They are supposed to be two of my best friends, and neither one of them had drank nearly as much as I did. They were fine to drive. I really don't want this to happen again, and I have some serious commitment issues, so i just don't know what to do. If i tell him, he's bound to leave me. Should I just keep quiet and vow to not let this happen again? Counseling? I'm just not sure. Any advice is welcome.
stuckfast
Counselling would be a great start. There are three things at play here. Your marriage. Your decisions. Your behaviour under alcohol. I'm sorry you are in this situation. Counselling will help you with strategies to manage all three things.
fallenskies
The thing is, when these guys first made a move on me before I was blacked out, I specifically said "no. Stop. I don't want it" and somehow it happened anyways, which really upsets me.. I've decided not to tell my husband, but I really need to get this under control. If it happens again, that's proving to myself I can't handle this on my own and I'll confess.
fallenskies
And yes, I'm looking into counseling
jaymee4647
Don't drink with anyone but your husband, unless you want this to happen again.
bepeters04
I would definitely avoid putting yourself into these situations. You have fallen now, more than once. This makes it 10 times easier for it to happen again. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. This is a weakness. Keep away from alcohol when you are away from hubby. I agree with counseling too. Not telling is a heavy burden to bare.
fallenskies
Yeah I've already decided not to drink without him. And if I do, do it in groups. Never one on one with a guy. Ever. I really do want to change. This isn't like me. And I think it helps that I've never done this sober, so atleast I don't do it when I'm in my right mind. And I know not telling is a heavy burden, but it's my burden to carry. If the roles were reversed, and he was in my shoes and knew he made a mistake and was making a conscious effort to fix it and never let it happen again, I wouldn't want to know. Telling him would hurt him, he would stay with me probably, but our relationship wouldn't be the same anymore. So I'll just not let it happen again.. I have a lot of very self destructive habits. Within the past year and a half, I got myself out of a three year abusive relationship, and was raped by someone else. So I keep spiraling down everytime I try and pick myself back up.. I don't know. But I know I decided I need help. I don't want to be this person.
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