Simply, humans by nature are selfish and flawed.

It takes hard to work to mature and build character as a child onward to adulthood.

The mind of a child does not understand consequences, but instant gratification with no regard or understanding of consequences. Playing video games all day and eating only cookies and ice cream seems a like a good idea at the time.

Intelligence is innate but wisdom is gained through daily contemplation, healthy repetitive decision making, and refining a truthful worldview and perspective on life.

Given this understanding it actually isn't a surprise that 50% of people will likely cheat.

You can't understand the mind of a cheater because you tend to contemplate and considered the moral implications and the consequences of potential actions before make decisions.

It is because your decision making in life revolves around consideration of your character/integrity and those around you, that the choice to cheat seems horribly foolish. It is a bad deal.

However, consider if the majority of thoughts in your minds were narrowly self focused/superficial on how to feel good, obtain pleasure, and to gain excitement in life. If your decision making started there what kind of decisions would you make? What if how your decisions would affected others are a post thought rather than a forethought?

For example, crystal meth will destroy you and your relationships, but it will also make you feel amazing for the short term.

All humans have great potential to do horribly selfish things.

Building wisdom and character/integrity doesn't remove the potential, but it does help us resist temptations and make right decisions when these opportunities come by.

Those who rely on their feelings have never developed their mind and as such don't think about all the things you think about. That make it easier to do things like cheat because the thinking is shallow and full of self deceptions of reality.

Go to the infidelity site. They'll be happy to tell you why we cheat.

Aman ! I've never been in a relationship, so I have never been cheated on. However, I've been the shoulder to cry on for many. What really throws me for a loop is the fact that so many people try to defend cheaters "they are just humans and humans make mistakes". No, they are just messed up individuals who do not care about the feelings of others, period. Lastly, I truly believe that fidelity is a personality trait that many people do not have, which is why I also believe that romantic relationships should not be pushed as something we are "supposed" to want and should acquire. No, lots of people do not have whats needed in order to be in a committed, monogamous relationship and that's fine. I think that the more people start to realize this and be honest with themselves and others, cheating will become unheard of.

I am terribly amused by a 19 year old and a person who has never been in a relationship extolling their opinions about infidelity. Your opinions are noise.

If you were a 50 year old that's been in a 30 year marriage that's had lots of ups and downs and personal losses and sexual dry spells and unexpected moments of flirtation that were appropriately resisted, perhaps I would be interested in your perspectives.

But some trolls who have zero experience of what you speak. Bye, Felicia.

Wew lad, seems like I have struck a nerve. First off, your perspective is neither needed nor wanted, so you can stop the haughty pretense that your input will be a holy revelation to any of us - it means fuck all. And the notion that I need to be experienced to talk about this subject matter is retarded. From your tone, I'm going to assume that you've cheated, and that you're a senior - which makes it all the more worse, as you're well past your hormonal, instinctive teenager days. If you're not getting laid by your partner, take your ass to r/deadbedrooms, and for all other issues - including the aforementioned -, well, you're old enough understand the importance of communication. No amount of bullshit forces you to physically go out and be a hoe.

✔ Dismissed.

This is the wrong board for ranting about cheaters. And sex is not the motivation for many people. It's a hundred steps down the line from where infidelity begins.

Did it ever occur to you that the "inhumane" cheaters that come on this website come here for support because they know what they are doing is wrong and need help? They need so much help that they don't even have someone in their lives they can share their feelings of guilt with so they have to come here hoping that a random stranger will reach out to them. Did it ever occur to you that the people who cheat and not feel guilty of it, would NEVER be on a website like this? No, they would not. I get your feelings of frustration against cheating, but maybe consider choosing an alternative outlet to let your feelings out. Your post is similar to attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting and bashing all of the people there for being alcoholics. Very insensitive.

@incomprehensible723 - I remember when I was 19. I remember quite clearly what my moral stance was on many topics of the day that affected me and my peer group.

My peer group did not know my past. They did not know about the 8 years of sexual, physical and emotional torture, beatings and gang rape sessions I endured at the hands of the family who provided care for me while my parents worked. This started when I was four years old.

They had no clear understanding the mental conditioning I went through. The fear I lived in. Nor were they aware of the mental state of numb I reached as I accepted the fact that I was an object and not a person. I had no worth. I had no value. I was not human, I was something they could rape, beat, torture and abuse for the entertainment of that of their friends.

My friends had no idea of the trauma I would later experience when I was held hostage by a criminal organization and told they would shotgun my face from my skull and leave me to die that way.

My friends have no idea how much I loved my wife and how much our inability to connect fully due to my sexual dysfunction from my abuse or past trauma hollowed me further. They have no idea of what my wife did, or who she was and how that lack of emotional connection left me needing one.

My friends have no idea of the guilt I live with over my actions and how they have impacted and hurt my family. They have no idea of the shame I live with. They have no idea of the constant feeling that I have no value in the world, the need to hurt emotionally as a form of karmic justice that I live with. They do not know I work such long hours between two jobs and being a dad to amazing kids, and how I work myself to the point of exhaustion, driven past that point due to guilt and shame.

My friends have no idea of any of this. Yet you a complete stranger come in here and make assumptions at this point in your life that you have the higher morality to judge me or the other people in this space.

I know nothing about you, but how you have presented yourself so far. what are you afraid of? What are you guilty of? What is missing from your life that you feel the need to crusade in this space and attack us? What free pass have you been given to come and attack those who are trying to address their issues?

Do you attend AA meetings and tell them what contemptable people they are? Do you attend NA meetings and tell them how weak they are? Do you stand outside churches and scream at the nonbelievers or perhaps stand outside the church and feel the need to challenge the belief of others because it offends your sense of the universe?

Perhaps you just prefer to judge others instead. perhaps making moral judgments on people you have never met instead makes you a better person. Especially when you know nothing of them, their struggles or anything about them.

You see life as black and white, I see your input so very similar to how I saw a Catholic priest's advice marital matters, pointless and without experience.

Thank you for your input. Now go back to your safe space before I say something that may offend you!

Trolls be a trollin.. making up profiles and coming over here to CA.. Lurk and bash!

AMEN

I think those of us who come here are not asking to be white washed of our sins. We come because sometimes the only ones who will not beat us are those who have done the same things.

To the troll who entered this group to bestow his "wisdom"
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?