Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
My name is Lewis, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years.
Recently I have made the mistake of cheating on my girlfriend. It all started on a night out in the club, me and her got into an argument over her excessive smoking, I have been addicted to many drugs in the past both legal and illegal and didn’t want her to follow the same path I did. (I can now solidly say that I am clean of all drugs other then medically perscribed ones and alcohol as of 2017).
Eventually the argument ended in her leaving the club early, and as she was my ride home and my wallet was in her car, i ended up wandering the streets at 4 in the morning with no money for a taxi and my house was too far to walk. I started wandering the streets and came across a girl sitting by herself with her head in her hands. I asked her “are you ok?” Which she replied with “yeah don’t let me bother you please carry on”. My legs were aching from walking and I was struggling to move in straight lines due to the fact I still had a lot of alcohol in my system so I asked her if I could sit with her and she said yes. I’ve never been a fan of being alone in a place I don’t really know so I found comfort in her company.
We talked for a bit before she kissed me and for some stupid reason I never pulled away. She asked me where I was going and I replied “no where, I’ve got no money to get a taxi and no one can drive me”. She offered to pay for taxi to her place Where I could spend the night and I agreed. I have no idea why, I have never felt like this before and I’ve no clue what to do. That night we had sex multiple times and by the time I woke up she had left for work.
My girlfriend still doesn’t know and I’ve genuinely no idea what to do. I have a history of mental health issues (such as psychosis, Schizophrenia, Depression and PTSD) and a history of self harm, both short term like cutting or burning and long term such as starving myself over weeks and the guilt I feel is driving me towards this again.
Any advice would be appreciated
If it’s getting clean, do it! Be present! Better yourself!
It sounds like you have a challenging relationship with your girlfriend in the first place to consider, and you have your own challenges. Great job cutting the drugs out of your life, but you may also want to consider ditching drinking as well. To start with, at least for a little while, so you can get your head together, and feet on the ground and figure out yourself and your relationship.
Once you tell her she will fall apart.
Get tested.
If you never cheat again then be blessed.
If you decide to tell her live with the fact it is over. Let her move on you get yourself more help.
Once she learns about this is finished then.
Wish you all the best.