Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Tomorrow i will be married 9 years. Over the last year and a half i have sought other women outside my marriage. The first was a year in a half ago i had inappropriate text/ facebook messages with an old high school crush. Then about 8 months ago i met another woman and we went out 3 times. Never had sex, just held hands and kissed. Still not an excuse, it's still unfaithful. Then a few days ago i went back online and messaged a few women. I then realized i don't want to do this, it's not the person i want to be. All three times my wife found out one way or another. The last one was the last straw and I'm moving out. She said she can never trust me again, which i understand. I do want to be with her. How do i break this cycle? If not for when we get back together, then for the next person I'm with. My wife and i have been in counseling for the past 2 years, most of it dealing with this.
Are you getting individual counseling? Have you considered a mental health issue?
I'm not excusing my cheating, but I am getting to the underlying issues. I have bi-polar combined with ADHD and compulsive behaviors. I didn't know this until recently when I finally sought help for myself. I was in a 2 year long affair that was discovered recently and I am now trying to pick up the pieces.
They say compulsively "sexting" or talking to others on the internet with the intent for it to become sexual, either physically or emotionally, is an addiction, and in that case it doesn't matter how badly you don't want it to happen, or how good your marriage is...if there's an addiction there, it needs to be addressed.
If I was your wife, seeing you actively take steps to get help on your own would mean a lot to me.