Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.

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JaneBelle
JaneBelle

I know this is bad.  I’m going crazy, I miss him.  We saw each other everything was great then nothing.  What did I do wrong.  I know the answers it’s just I feel like crap right now, I don’t get it.  Why don’t guys have feelings?  I want to end it, but I’ve never felt this way before and I can’t anyway bc he won’t respond to me.  What a disaster I’ve gotten myself into ☹️

NonJeNe
NonJeNe
So sorry! No advice, just sympathy. I hope you are able to find a way to be in a place where you can get some peace. Hang in there.
CloverMoon
CloverMoon
That's the way most guys are wired. They will tell you they love you right up til the day they don't. Then it's...."we aren't growing"......"there's no future for us". Then when you ask for a reason why, they say....."everyday contact isn't good for us". If you comply & go NC, after a couple of weeks they are emailing you telling you how they miss you & the love never dies. The answer to all the above is....they've moved on to someone else. The reason they contact you after a couple of weeks is.....they're scared it won't work out with the new girl & they're contacting you just in case.....you've now become the "fallback" girl.

After a 2 1/2 yr A, my AP did this to me. It took me 5 yrs to recover. Some recover in much less time. Going NC will not shorten your recovery time but it will make it much easier. As they say.....it takes as long as it takes. Try the website.....baggage reclaim. Good luck & a speedy recovery!
JaneBelle
JaneBelle
Thank you! I believe the someone else is his wife. He keeps his distance so he won’t get caught and doesn’t get too involved. I have to decide if I’m ok with this and emotionally I cannot handle this so idk bc I never know when he’ll get back in touch. Ugh stupid but I get no affection
CloverMoon
CloverMoon
When it comes to the "wife", sadly, we must back off. I know this is what you're doing & that's great. Look at it this way.....maybe, just maybe, you are the reason they reconnected. Maybe your AP realized how much he really does love his wife & maybe he feels remorse & maybe wants to work things out. Or not. Maybe he's just throwing up a smoke screen for her so, as you say, he won't get caught. Either way, you have to remain in the background til he figures things out. In the meantime though, I'd move on. I wait for no man!