Because I came from a very sheltered background that taught me that sex was dirty and shouldn't be talked about our sex life didn't stand a chance. I looked at sex as if it was my duty as the wife to have sex.
The OP opened my eyes that I can be sensual and its not dirty. That opened up a whole different ballgame. . .now sex is better in my marriage.
Also I think what made it good was that I was being naughty, instead of the good girl all the time.

the sex i had with OW was better than with SO ever was, now i am stuck on how to make things better with SO, i am more aggressive and enjoy dressing up and she is very conservative and missionary only. i don't know how to go about changing that.

My sex with OM was better because he knew that it began in the brain....not the groin. The H never knew that and the sex, what very little of it there was over the past 6 years, was awful. No foreplay, no nothing. Quite frankly, although the sex was great with OM, the bar was so low that sex with a german shepherd probably would have been better.

The sex was always better with the OW. When a married man meets a woman who wants him passionately, he knows she has a choice, and doesn't have to be there. Still, the OW is ready and anxious to please. My wife, not so much. I would rather the incredible sex be with SO, but she sets so many rules it is hard to be in the moment. Even after 25 years of sex with my wife I am still uncomfortable when making love. My only thought during lovemaking is my lovers enjoyment. I rarely get the sense that my wife is enjoying me. She does not like talking, during sex, says I cause her to lose focus. Also it must be bedtime with the lights out. Missionary please. The other women I have been with, each and all, responded to my touch and lovemaking without inhibition. Again, my wife, not so much, ever.

Sex with my H was always great. He always has given me far better orgasms then any other man.

Though nothing could stand up to the danger sex with the OM, even tho they were not nearly as hot as my H. The heightened emotions, the excitement of being sneaky and getting away with something, and the lack of other stressors, and the fully 'being in the moment' of uninhibited cheating sex almost always makes for great sex. Personally, i love bodies..and exploring a new one is always amazing and almost magical opposed to exploring the old playground you have been playing on for years. God i feel like a jerk. I wish i could say my H didn't like sex, or was bad in bed. But i don't have that excuse.