Hello Rose. Yes I understand this. My OM (no longer in the same state) goes periods with no email contact, usually only a day or two but has gone as long as a week. He has a stressful job, crappy family life, etc.

Men aren't as good as multitasking as women are. We can handle many things going on at once but men, not so much. They tend to focus on one thing at a time.

I take it as a reminder to keep myself in check, I mean, he is married and has kids. I have the gift (curse?) of rationalization. One thing I won't do is come off needy or over concerned or else I become a mom figure, not sexy. I act like it doesn't bother me. But it kinda does.

He goes a week or even two. Sometimes feel like a convenience instead of a gf. My day isn't complete unless I talk to him. I can't compete w that damn job.

I was in the same boat and I learned a lot in the last few years. Realistically people make time for the things they truly care about, I clearly wasn't one of them. When he took time away from his job for me, guess what it was for? To have nice long talks? Nope. He took time out of his schedule to have HIS needs met under the pretense of it being for me. Sex. It's about sex. I am in my 40's and would never use this phrase, but I believe it's lovingly called a booty call.

Cervelo that was our last fight. Booty call. Ouch but honestly he makes no time for anyone else in any other capacity so...idk. There is a Pinterest saying that may be he is loving you with all he's got and i think he does but I don't think its enough for me.

Rose, I think we are seeing the same person. Lol. They're in it for themselves with nothing else to offer anyone else. I don't think it's intentional, they just don't have it in them. I didn't mean to be harsh, I'm trying to get away right now and I'm having to face truths I've ignored for a very long time. I rose colored everything to what I want to see. Can't do that anymore. I need to wake up and realize what I am to him. Before I ruin my entire life over ring his toy to take out and play with as he needs, on his terms, in his time frame. That's not fair to me. I'm better than that.

My x-om use to do the same thing and I always excused the behavior. Not good, so I woke up.
If you can't live with it now why do you think you can live your remaining years being treated like that. It will only get worse since he's probably giving his all now.
Heard

I know I am excusing it. Guess I am holding out hope. Quite sure that job, no mattwr how stressful or busy provides relief from home. He is also a people pleaser and a yes man. And at least I would have him after work.

I get so tired of being the dumping ground for his bad day, which is nearly every day. He justifies his drinking because of it too. All of this brings on more of his negativity. I feel like i dont get much attention.

Sunset- the H or OM?

My OM job was most of the reason we didn't work out. He works 12-16 hours a day. But it did help me realize that an affair is not a way to live.

The H

Besides the fact that if he was mine I wouldn't be a greedy bitch, pressuring him till he strokes out.

Sunset, did you ask for more attention from your H? Talk to him about how your feel, what your wants and needs are now. Men don't always know. They don't read things well. Lol

Before Dday, my H worked long days and would come home and go straight to his computer and spend the evening working on his writing. Communication was minimal. We lived in different parts of the house. He even ate dinner at his desk. We spent 10 min together as I was falling asleep. Sometimes not even that. That's why after Dday we completely restructured the way we were functioning as a couple, a process well worth it.

I have but he likes his routine of coming home, cracking some beers and sitting in his man room talking to me or will invite a co-worker over to talk about work.. I just walk away, feeling like he could care a less about how me and the kids are..
He saw me sitting alone outside today and he actually felt kinda bad- I hope..
I am sick of his routine.. I have mentioned it but he seems to get better for only a little while then slips back into this behavior..