Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.

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Do I tell OW

changedmylife
changedmylife
I am not a member here. I have been betrayed by my H with one of my best friends. This has been very hard on me. Anyway I am here because I have a question that I also posted on Rebuilding but was wanting opinions from here. My former friend who cheated with my H, her H also has cheated on her. Well it has been a little bit of time, but he is starting back again and the one he confided in slipped and it has gotten to a couple of people. With me knowing this, do I say something to her or act like I don't know what it going on. I hate this for her, but in a way I think it is karma. He has told some he is only there for the kids and I believe that. He is being super nice, sweet, and doing the right things at home but is slipping up. Anyway not to ramble more. Should I say something or let it go. It is non of my business anymore as we are not friends and don't talk. The others will never tell her. They don't want to talk about this whole mess and wish they hadn't found out this part to. What a mess. Any comments?
rel8
rel8
It'll all come out eventually. Wait and watch. Don't get involved... Karma is a strange thing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I saw your post on the rebuilding site and agree with what the others said there. As much as you want to hurt her, don't do it. It'll come around. Stay out of it. You getting involved isn't going to help matters. The only one it's going to help is you.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I had an EA and when I broke it off I started seeing the XOM and the X that I had the EA with told my H about my A. The guy I had the EA with is now having an affair now with someone I work with and I want to tell his wife about it so bad, but it's not my place. I understand how you feel about wanting to tell, but my advice is, don't. Stay out of it.
changedmylife
changedmylife
Really, I am past hurting her, I kind of want her to know because she deserves to, but I don't because she deserves what she did to me by keeping it a secret and using blackmail.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Telling her could dredge up old feelings for you, and in that way, telling her could hurt you. Keep working on yourself and be thankful for the tremendous amount of progress that you have made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm with everyone else here. It is not your place to tell her. My former BF also had an EA with my H, so I understand where you are coming from. No matter how much you say you are past hurting her, you absolutely are not. Wanting to tell her is not out of the goodness of your heart. You are not her friend anymore.

And, by "friending" her and telling her about her H, it opens the door for her to rekindle her relationship with your H. I firmly beleive you will be better off keeping your mouth shut and taking care of your own business.

My best to you.