I've deleted some things, but still have not deleted all. I figure with time...I will delete more. I have been no contact for a year and a half, with a minor recontact last December, which I ended almost as soon as it began. I don't go back and read the emails for many reasons, as one it can be painful, but yet I'm guilty of not being able to delete them (of course they are in a separate email from my regular one). I'm sure it would be great to delete them all, and maybe some day I will, but I'm not totally there yet. It has been a process for me. Good luck, I don't know if there is any right timing on these things. Some on here may disagree and say just delete everything now- I would say if you are worried about anything being found- delete immediately. My hubby is not that tech savy and has no idea about my other email- so in time I will decide when it all needs to be trashed. Yes- Strength is something we all need in large doses on here! Good luck

i had no choice...when my hubby found out, he found out by getting into my email. so he stood over me as i deleted them. i still have pictures on my computer and other mementos (shirts, work on the book we were writing, etc) in a box in my office closet (out of sight out of mind). Right now its hard to even think about that box let alone open it and go through it. I may never go through it or I may go through it and not throw anything out. But right now, its where it belongs....on a shelf with other boxes containing things from my past that I just cant throw out. There is no right or wrong time to delete emails, etc. For me the hardest thing was deleting saved voicemails...i knew that would be the only way i would still get to hear his voice....listening to them for the last time before i hit delete was torture....especially the ones where he told me he loved me and that i was always with him. But after the email, i knew hubby would be checking my phone for texts, voice mails, etc. So I had no choice.

The very next day after it ended. Everything got deleted from chats to texts, emails and any journaling that I had done......everything. We never took pics. I also threw out every item he had given me. I got rid of everything.

Icnu - I think I need to do what you did. I loved her and best way out of mind is ditching everything. I want her to think she is happy and in a better place but don't want to know....., does that make sense?

If I knew how much this would control my mind and thoughts I would have never done it.

I read an article on recovery and the last step was interesting help others stop their affairs and try to help others who are considering it! I want to help others cause I know how it hurts!!!

Let me ask you this, is there any reason Why you want them? You will probably never get to a happy place where one day it won't hurt..you might as well bite the bullet and just delete the stuff. If I told you that it gets harder in time and today will be your easiest day, would you do it today?
Heard

Yes I would but it seems I'm totally letting go and that is really what needs to happen! She made it clear it was over.......so I should hit delete all!!!!!

i have an interesting addendum to this. my OM (under threat from my hubby) blocked me from facebook so suddenly i couldnt see pictures, day to day stuff, etc. At the time it happened it sucked and i pitched my hissy fit in the corner. Two months has gone by and things have gotten better...and today one of our mutual friends and I got together for a chat date. My OM came up in conversation and all she knew is that we couldnt talk or be on FB but not knowing why. So she said let me show you some stuff and suddenly she was showing me his FB page. Filled with pictures of just him running and pictures from when his mom passed. I guess I expected to see whiny rants about love or about life but there were only pictures from his family and from him enjoying what he loves best (running). I guess it helped me see that he is moving on and instead of hurting, i was almost happy for him. I didnt have an obsessive need like i once did to find out everything. Just a few glances at a few pics and that was it and we moved on to a different topic of conversation. It was almost like closure. When I move in a few months, I think I will be able to sort through the stuff I saved and get rid. But deleting everything (voice mails, emails, FB) was hard at first. But I think its helped me to heal and move forward instead of obsessing over whether or not he is online or posting stuff. I know a lot of people on here will probably question why I even looked at his FB (call it a test for my will) and I passed. I could look at it without hurting...each day does get better. And it will be a long time before I have the urge to see his FB again...I guess I just wnated to be sure he was okay.

Restore - my long rant aside...it will be hard but its probably the best...do it while you have the conviction and the urge to do it...like ripping off a bandaid fast rather than slowly. we are here for you.

Thanks for the advice be dead w/o this page!

Its been almost 5 months for me. For the first few weeks I looked at old emails constantly to ask myself why and to see the forest through the trees and for clarity...(it didn't help).
These emails and pictures are now in a private folder in a private email account no one knows about that I pretty much never use. I'm not sure why I am saving them....but I'm a saver, I'm sentimental...or maybe as evidence of something should something ever come up...who knows?.
I did go back a few weeks ago and look for the first time in probably 3 or 4 months for something I wanted to remember he once said. Felt only.."SMH...what was I thinking????" It was now what seemed a long time ago and both of us, I think, have changed.
I almost deleted....but not quite yet...
Please know it gets better. I actually agree with bluesky.