Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
My story is very unusual or at least I think so. I am a married woman having an affair with a married man. It has been going on for about 4 yrs now. We see each other once a month, talk every day, etc. We have became best friends along with lovers throughout the years. However, he just recently told me his wife was pregnant. But he waited 4 months before telling me. His excuse was he didnt want to lose me. Anyway, I knew this was something that could happen, we even discussed it. My problem is I trusted him. I am furious he withheld this from me. He was being selfish worrying about himself. I want to walk away, since I know that things will now change.. but he has become my best friend and my emotional rock. I am confused and feel like I have been shattered. Even though I know that I would never leave my husband to move closer to him. Which is in a different state. I am still feeling lost and empty. Any advise?
I do want to say one thing that it took me awhile to learn....HEALTHY relationships.....one that you are in with a 'best friend' or 'someone who is your emotional rock' aren't secret. They are honest and open and loving. You welcome your best friend into your home, you are happy for them when they are experiencing positive life changing events (like the birth of a child), you introduce them to your family and friends..... You are giving him a lot of responsibility (to be your rock and your best friend) that, in fairness, he can't deliver.
Chances are you are his escape from everyday stressors, a release, a "fantasy" woman. Think about what you want and where you see yourself in this. That will give you your answer.