Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

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Collecting moments

morrow73
morrow73
One of the greatest regrets of people on their death beds is about things they didn't do (rather than things they did do). Missed to share feelings with loved one... Let go of that true love, among the examples.
In the boring routine of work, married life, kids... is it possible that having encountered the spark of Love through a meeting of the minds and hearts with another person ... that we have honored Love and will be rewarded with having no Regrets. On the other hand, walking away from an amazing strong feeling would mean we dishonor Love and therefore may always regret walking away. To me, from a mental health stability point of view, it is better to give in to the feeling and ride it until it is tapered - even if we crash and burn, we have the peace of mind and no regrets because we have honored the love given to us a life's greatest gift and didn't throw it away like something dirty or guilty just please others. I am a very family values oriented person and yet I can't shake the feeling that following my heart into an affair was the absolute right thing to do. Does anyone else have a similar experience?
abetterman
abetterman
It may be your way of justifying a selfish act but yes, I wonder myself.
CloverMoon
CloverMoon
I don't regret my A. The only thing I regret is not being more discrete about it cause I thought my M was over and didn't care if H found out.
prettyanddumb12
prettyanddumb12
This is a very interesting point. I think it just matters how truly selfish we are. There are a lot of things we want and can't have, for moral reasons. An example, all the items in a store without paying for them. However, "true love" is that holy grail that our minds make it nearly impossible to turn away from, and that we will gladly walk through hell to experience.

In short, I guess I agree with the cliche of it being better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. My A and the whole emotional package was a huge part of my journey as a person on this earth. We didn't ride it out though, we couldn't because the emotional weight was crushing us. So we got out, too soon for the course to be run, and it emotionally destroyed me for longer than it even lasted. But, I honestly feel like I grew and changed in ways I never would have otherwise, and somehow I'll emerge a better wife and mother to the family that loves me.
roy995
roy995
I agree with the sentiment, and I think it's part of the subconscious reason I found myself in an affair. I worked in the medical field for over 20 years. I saw people who had life snatched away from them when they least expected it. One second you're here and the next second you're not. And in the end, we all die alone. I realized a long time ago that I could be hit by a bus crossing the street tomorrow, or some drunk driver could cross the center line and wipe me out in the blink of an eye. So I've found I always try to live for today and experience today. I suppose that life philosophy has caused me to be reckless to the extend that I didn't see much harm in getting involved in an affair.
waddicted
waddicted
I agree. For me… I think that this was very true. Before my affair, The only person that I had ever slept with was my husband. I think that that played a large part in it. I guess there was a piece of me that didn't want to go through life and die having only had sex with one person. That sounds really horrible, but I think it played a Part in it.
Unfortunately, I got way more than I bargained for… Because I was also in love with my AP. And I still am. For me, I have to be in love in order to have sex with someone. It's a very meaningful and important to me. Which is why I would never have an affair, just for the sex. At the same time though… The fact that I am in love with him, has made and still makes the whole situation extremely difficult, emotionally.