Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
For any CS who actually feels remorse and would like to make amends, Chumplady is not a good site to visit.
Are we just that now Cheaters. Bad people. Not worth given another chance. I'm falling back into that negative trap. Fortuantely not tempted to cheat at all. My H is out of town, first time since D-Day and naturally things are tense as he's wondering what I'm doing, If i'm cheating. He's made a point of saying he misses the kids (i.e Not me) also to be understood- but still... Am i asking too much for my H to show even the tiniest bit of warmth?
I probably am. How would i feel in his situation.
All i want. All i ever wanted has fucked me over.Yet i AM the fuck over.
Are we just that now Cheaters. Bad people. Not worth given another chance. I'm falling back into that negative trap. Fortuantely not tempted to cheat at all. My H is out of town, first time since D-Day and naturally things are tense as he's wondering what I'm doing, If i'm cheating. He's made a point of saying he misses the kids (i.e Not me) also to be understood- but still... Am i asking too much for my H to show even the tiniest bit of warmth?
I probably am. How would i feel in his situation.
All i want. All i ever wanted has fucked me over.Yet i AM the fuck over.
And, yes, you SHOULD expect your husband to show you some warmth. Just like it takes two to break down a marriage, it takes two to build it up. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself.
You've mentioned he won't seek counseling. I'm not sure if you can for yourself, but if not, work on building your own self esteem (Chumplady isn't going to do that for you) and the rest may fall into place. Read, read, read.....just not chump lady.....journal, talk it out.....
Yes H will not do counselling no MC. But I have joined counselling will be starting next week. This i am doing for me. I cant build a marriage if i am not happy with me. I'm working on being at peace and contented without my H's approval. He says i disregard him. I asked him if he'd prefer i cut myself or starve myself so that he can see my physical torment because of all of this.
Ive given him all my passwords, theres no secret accounts, i tell him where I am even grocery shopping. I shared with him recently a bit about my childhood , i've sent him religious and spiritual articles (and i read A LOT) as i think this is the major flaw in our marriage.. He's completely lost.
I woke him the day before he left for his travels to watch the sunrise on the beach front- i wanted to share this special moment with him and i even took his hand- yet it felt so awkward... It's been nearly 8 months and we still sleep separately- ive become so accustomed to this that i dont know how to build intimacy with him at all...
I don't but into her anger as my cs was remorseful and was involved in the rebuilding process.