Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.

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Can I join the Cheaters Club

hairymick
hairymick
Hi guys,

I post here sometimes but have lived in the Infidelity Group mostly.

My wife has had affair/s over the last 4 years or so and she moved out "to find herself" about 3.5 months ago. Settlement of property is in progress at the moment.

Since she moved out, I joined a dating site and have been getting a lil ass now and then while at the same time, my stbz has continued with her own great adventure.

Now, I find myself in a dilema There is one woman who has been very good to me and she treats me very well and I have feelings for her but I am not in love with her. My wife knows about her and now her adventure or fantasy (as I call it) is turning into a nightmare and she is saying she regrets her decision to leave me.

Here is the thing. My wife is the best sex I have ever had in my life (when she was in the mood for me) and since she moved out and more recently since she found out about my own little adventures, she is constantly contacting me and offering me or hinting at sex etc etc. She litterally fucks like a porn star and I have weakened a few times with her. At the same time, I am also "seeing" my new friend on a rugular basis.

I feel a measure of guilt about betraying my new friend but I just can't seem to stop. I still love my wife but just can't let her fully back into my life. It is a freaking mess, I know and will get messier but what the hell. I am a single man now, a slut and a cheater but at the same time, am revelling in the fact that two women find me attractive enough to compete for me and to be jealous of each other.

Geez, I just realized, I am a shallow basterd too

Living the dream here, LOL
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, Mick, I hear that this is complicated for you but I can't help chuckling just a little bit :) That is the dream for a lot of men isn't it? And you're in the most enviable position of knowing that you didn't start it, so you're not even the bad guy. Does your new lady know that you're still involved with your STBX? How would she handle that idea? If she can deal with it, you might get to eat cake for a while, while you sort thing out. You're certainly not the first, or last, single guy to be involved with two women. It used to be called dating
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, Mick, I hear that this is complicated for you but I can't help chuckling just a little bit :) That is the dream for a lot of men isn't it? And you're in the most enviable position of knowing that you didn't start it, so you're not even the bad guy. Does your new lady know that you're still involved with your STBX? How would she handle that idea? If she can deal with it, you might get to eat cake for a while, while you sort thing out. You're certainly not the first, or last, single guy to be involved with two women. It used to be called dating
deleted_user
deleted_user
As long as you're being honest with everyone, you're not cheating. From your post, I gather that your STBX knows about your new girlfriend, but does the knowledge also go the other way around? If not, then yep, you're cheating.

It's especially important to tell your GF about your STBX if you're sexually active with both women, because her health could be at risk. Your STBX is apparently promiscuous; she could be catching things and passing them on to your GF through you. Your GF deserves to know that this is a possibility.

If everything is on the up-and-up, then enjoy it while you can. I doubt it'll last.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I should clarify one more thing - it's only cheating if you've led your GF to believe that you and her have an exclusive relationship. Otherwise, as invisible65 says, you're just dating.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My H thought that having to women vie for his attention would be a fantasy . . . then he found out it was actually his worst nightmare. It may be exciting at first, but when people start getting their feelings hurt and their hearts broken it won't seem so fun anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mick I remember how you said before that you tried so hard to get your W to come back to you and she shut you down. Now that you have a GF, her jealousy seems to be fueling her fire for you. I'm not so sure that if the GF was out of the picture she would feel that way for long and things might go back to the way they were. I'm not necessarily advocating divorce or trying to judge your wife but if she had several affairs while you were married it may be that she seeks ilicit sex or forbidden pleasure as perhaps an addiction of sorts. I'm not surprised that she "fucks like a porn star" if this is the case. Basically porn is pure lust...that sometimes carries with it a special kind of addiction for both men and women. I'm not sure if this sounds far out to anyone but it was just something that came to mind when thinking about your situation. Of course, only you would know whether or not this was actually the case.

I don't think you're necessarily shallow as much as you're dealing with temptation...which sometimes severly alters our focus and logic. It's good you are asking the question to get perspective.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mick
The only thing that will get ya labeled is if I remember from a post in another room you said you promised the GF you wouldn't see wife again.

Now please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't think you owe W any loyalty. But you need to talk to GF. Unless you already have :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mick~ If the ONLY thing keeping you with your wife is that she "fucks like a porn star" is that really a relationship. Does she care for you, treat you with respect, listen to you after a hard day at work, enjoy cooking for you, taking long walks in the evening.......you get my drift. If its the sex you desire, show and teach your new GF how you like it.....COMMUNICATE from the very beginning of this new relationship. That is how your will build the best sex. Your W is jealous and wants to remain in the picture, you have found happiness again, something you have DESERVED For a long time.