Yes, a serial cheater can be a good person. Some of it depends upon the struggles and reasons for cheating, but life isn't always so black and white. Serial cheating and the possible pains that cause it need to be addressed. But I believe it's possible to love your family, be a productive employee, and contribute to society while struggling with this aspect of life.

I think so. You have to look at the totality of the person, not the one glaringly bad thing they did. It gets complicated as you look closer and closer into someone's situation, the blacks and whites blend to gray. And with understanding judgment tends to soften.

I do think it's bad of course and I beat myself up a lot about it, and in my case a lot of things I say are manifestations of my own guilt rather than judgments of other people.

But yes I think you can be a good person despite all of this. But really when you realize you are doing something bad...you should stop it. I know, easier said than done, and it's hypocritical of me perhaps, but I know it's true nonetheless. If you're out of alignment with the good then you should endeavor to bring yourself back into alignment.

Try not to beat yourself up too much though. We're all human and struggling with our very human weaknesses.

I think my issue is that I don't beat myself up enough; I guess it comes across arrogant to the BSs.

I feel like a good person. I feel like my 'friends' here are good people. I honestly don't believe this (undeniably) hurtful act that comes from a complicated place makes anyone 'bad'.

LOVED LOVED Nurse Jackie!!! (Although my favorite show of all time was Big Love...)
And I disagree, where she was using Eddie for her own addiction, I do think she truly loved him in her own way.

Anyway.....I think 'a bad person' is too broad. I think possibly the correct term is "shouldn't be involved (married) to someone believing in monogamy."

I know I am a good person. I am confident in my long life I am much more than my cheating days. Possibly I was character flawed, possibly I had a slew of issues that didn't involve my husband, possibly I had issues that did involve him - but I'm not a 'bad person'

So many remarkable people in history have been serial Cheaters, for example JFK..... but was he a 'bad person?' Really? OR Maybe he just had no business in being married to a woman who expected monogamy in her marriage.......and he loved her, but he struggled with that.

I was suicidal for a time because I felt my affair ruined me, or made me an overall "bad person," despite objectively being one of the kindest and most giving people around for four decades. I saw four therapists over the past couple of years, and all of them challenged me about that. Would I consider my best friend a bad person if she did what I did? No. My husband? No. My husband even said he stayed with me because I am one of the best people he knows!

I have more of a Gestalt perspective now on being a "good person" (the whole is other than the sum of its parts). Cheating is a betrayal, and it is a selfish act, but it usually isn't malicious, and it often comes from a place of pain, emptiness, or addiction. Most cheaters are not narcissists. Most have a conscience and feel guilt and shame. When 15-20% of married people have had affairs, I don't think we can write them off as "bad people." People who really fucked up, yes. You can get there insidiously, though. I don't think a cheater can recover and become healthy in a relationship if bound by shame and convinced he or she is bad. I feel strongly about that now.

I believe in redemption, and I try to associate with others who do as well.

Getting down to brass tacks, to me, a bad person is someone who harms others on purpose.

^ I agree with that definition.

I would agree also.

I have more or less settled on the litenous test of "with or without intent"

Not until I grew up... about 40 years too late... did I realize there are a lot more "bad people" out there than I thought. Those that have frankly told me that they either consciously or possibly subconsciously allow their minds to wonder into premeditated thoughts and actions of fucking with another persons life for their owns perverse wants/needs. They say they are bad... I don't disagree..