Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.

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luvinmom 08/12/2014

I'm brand new to this site, and I could hardly believe there was one for this side of the fence. I have been married to my H for 7 1/2 years. We kept trying each year to make our marriage stronger, but each year it has gotten more difficult for me to be happy. Long story short, his brother moved in with us to help us financially. His brother really understood me. He tried to help me understand my husband, and help us to fix our marriage. I started having an EA back in May. We'd go fishing, talking, to the store. Everywhere together. My husband was happy that I could get out without him. (I have some serious health issues, and cannot drive. I also shouldn't be alone for too long.) I began to crave my BIL. Ive never felt anything like it, ever. He wanted me too, but refused to do anything that would hurt his brother. I pushed. eventually it happened. Just once. After that, I couldn't stand to be with my H. Things got really strained (well, duh!) and he gave me an ultimatum. He, or his brother. I chose the brother. He and I are working together to get the divorce rolling, and we plan on marrying very soon after. Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

desertflower123 08/13/2014

Welcome Luvinmom.

First off all the cheaters here can relate to you in the sense that all of us have complicated our lives through the roof by getting into an affair.

Second, I've know some members here who have gotten into affairs with very close family friends who were like family to them.

I hope you find the support and advice that you are looking for here.

Here is a link to the abbreviations that are used here.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/cheatersanonymous/discussions/messages/19247585

luvinmom 08/15/2014

Thanks Desert, that actually helps a lot. Drifting, its already a complete disaster, we all live in the same house. Jorge and I now live in the basement, while Jon and the kids are upstairs. Its a HELL of a mess. I wish that I weren't so happy, because then I would be free to feel all that guilt and horror that someone in my position should feel. Go figure, eh?

Gabrielle48 08/24/2014

Sounds like a very difficult situation with lots of pain and confusion for those involved, especially the kids. I would think that therapy would be in order to help everyone get through these transitions.

luvinmom 08/26/2014

The kids are doing pretty well, they see a school therapist. Their dad and I don't put each other down, or use snarky remarks. They know I plan to marry Their uncle. My son even wants us to hurry. My daughter wants to know how soon she will get a sibling! We are as open as needs be with them, explaining on their level only what they need.

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