Hi I am in s similar situation though it was not as serious. I got such a high from seeing this guy and the sex was amazing. Knowing I’ll never see him again is killing me. I dint have any advice really just know that you’re not alone. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes and being immature. Didn’t know it would hurt so much.

Darn, I got married when I was 23 and before that was with him since the age of 19. The affair made me feel alive again and the chemistry was out of this world. But we also chatted and texted each other from the time we would wake up to the time to go to bed. So a big void now

For the sake of your husband's future please don't have kids with him and entrap him in a life he doesn't want. He doesn't know his marriage is over and if he knew about the affair he likely would not chose to have a child with you.

Also consider the environment you are considering bringing a child into. Children need parents who are capable of self sacrifice and a stable family where two parents love each other.

Thanks. I dont intend to bring children into a marriage that potentially has no future. The reason I came here was to find helo to deal with current anxiety Im having dealing with issues to be honest. This comment just adds to the increase on my anxiety.

Having spent all of my adult life essentially in your husband's shoes, IMHO a marriage based on lies and deception will eventually collapse and cause even more anxiety than you are experiencing now. The anxiety is a consequence of your actions.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I felt very alone and how I was feeling and to know that you're upset and sad over something that ended because you let your heart open to someone else and now they're gone has left a void inside of you that you can't help because you got close to somebody as a friend or whatever. Thanks so much for sharing your story I don't feel as alone.

The end of any relationship leave a void. Figure out why this person is the one you would leave your BS for. If your marriage can be saved try.

The loss of hopes and dreams is always painful, and affairs are often full of those. Try to be realistic about all of it, especially how hard your life would have been with him. Consider talking it through with a therapist or very trusted friend.

This was my nightmare - to have to deal with the end of the affair and have my husband not understand why my world had collapsed. A good friend of mine went through something similar - her AP just couldn't give her what she wanted and she was intensely depressed for months and I was the only person she could talk to, who knew the details.

That said, ending the relationship because of the issue you described seems strange to me. Is it really a deal breaker for either of you? Or perhaps he was feeling the pressure that all the pipe dreams were putting on him. Perhaps he never really intended to end his marriage. You may never know.

It seems incredibly hurtful to block all communication with you, but everyone says that going no contact is the best way to heal. Maybe in 6 months you may be able to reach out to him and get a better explanation of why he ended it.

If you were truly willing to end your marriage for this man, you may want to consider taking some time apart from your husband, even just a weekend away to decide what you want to do in the future. I don't know that you can truly heal your marriage without telling your partner about the affair.

I ended my marriage to be with my AP. I think mine is a rare case. Extremely rare. If I could go back in time I would do things differently. I would have ended my marriage many years earlier. I was unhappy and even tried individual counseling and marriage counseling, neither of which helped at all. My husband never found out about my infidelities. And now I'm to a point where it wouldn't help anything to come clean to him. It has been a long journey to build our co-parenting relationship to where it is today.

Hang in there. You have many wise people here on this board and I hope you will continue to use this as a resource to healing.

Sorry you are feeling bad but I think when he said try to work things out with your husband he pretty much was saying he was done. Perhaps he has decided to try to work out things within his marriage. A lot of people expect answer and closure. Although he was abrupt I think the only thing that can be done at this time is to accept the outcome and focus on your marriage.

Thanks for all the support. It turned out, AP contacted me less than a week later and we are now seeing each other again. So hard to let go

Be careful. It almost always ends in disaster.

Please consider your husband. You are harming him more than you can imagine. The damage to him may be irreparable and will scar his heart for the rest of his life.

The pain of having the person you loved and trusted the most betraying you completely is incomparable outside of the death of a child.