Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
My wife has been suffering horribly. I've been suffering horribly. I'm down to my weight in 7th grade and my wife is perpetually depressed and hyper-vigilant. I started crying during 4 different conversations at work today and lord only knows what happened to her. We are definitely getting divorced, and my wife rebuffs any attempts I make toward helping her heal. My wife tells me stories about the other woman's other escapades during our affair that she learned of through her private investigators. To me, no contact means no contact. No communication means no communication. We all agreed to that.
So she passes me in the hallway and smiles at me. She's doing her own 6 month trial period with her husband from whom she's been separated for over a year and a half. He only got that through blackmail. Eye contact is still contact, and a smile is still communication.
It really ticked me off!
A. Leave me alone, you've done enough already.
B. What the @#*$ do you have to smile about?!
What do you folks think? Am I being unduly spiteful or am I justifiably annoyed?
So she passes me in the hallway and smiles at me. She's doing her own 6 month trial period with her husband from whom she's been separated for over a year and a half. He only got that through blackmail. Eye contact is still contact, and a smile is still communication.
It really ticked me off!
A. Leave me alone, you've done enough already.
B. What the @#*$ do you have to smile about?!
What do you folks think? Am I being unduly spiteful or am I justifiably annoyed?
You are justifilly annoyed.
But TECHNICALLY your affair partner did not break NC.
Next time, YOU go out of your way to avoid her.
If you see her coming down a hallway LOOK DOWN and walk quickly away from her.
And if you folks MUST make contact in the hallway, you look down and quickly walk past her.
You have every right to be annoyed. Yes, you made a bad choice, but she's just being a jerk. She has no respect for you. If she did, she would leave you alone completely.
Well, duh.
My wife has been an excellent wife, I've been an excellent husband, and my affair partner has shown herself not to be a good friend. There's no decision to be made at all. The affair was an aberration brought on by a compilation of convergent circumstances. It was a symptom, not a goal, and I knew that the whole time. See the scene in Hamlet where he compares his father's medallion with his uncle's for his mother. There you go.
Sadly, my wife will hear none of it.