Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Hello all
I am new here and have been browsing around good and educational stuff...
I happen to be a BS, I just found out one week ago my SO has been cheating on me. I found out through the call log on our cell phone bill, I googled the phone numbers and they all came up as escort ads( 6 of them). I had confronted him about this and he told me he only received oral from one girl. We have been together for 8 years, he is always out of town because of work, I only get so see him 8-10 days a month. Today I went to have an HIV and STD done. Today he also had revealed that he has been doing it for 8 months. Doing what he won't say. He told me it was a game he was playing? I asked him for the webpage and his login info..he said there is none?.. he had phoned all these girls, with the exception of one, so I don't know if he txt her first, and then she called? These calls all last between 2-4 mins.. not much conversation! My question to ya'll is how long will it take for him to be completely honest? To finally reveal it all to me (not the gory details)? We had been to 2 counseling sessions, he quit because he said "I don't like to be analyzed".. is this a normal side effect? Does it sound like he has an addiction? I had given him the info for this site, hopefully he will join. I am worried about him, I love this man very much, I want to make sure he gets help, how do I start? He does break down and cry when I talk to him on the phone, but he won't call me, yeah he is out of town but it has never stopped him before. (guilt) He will be 60 this year and I am 42, all these girls are in their early 20's...Could he be having a later mid-life crisis? He has begged me to give him a second chance, he sounds remorseful ON THE PHONE, but if you feel that much guilt wouldn't you want to be in contact with the person you want to forgive you? I don't get any of that. I am still in the shock stage because everyday new information is being revealed, I don't know how I can get past this stage unless he totally comes clean and becomes transparent. I thank you in advance for any info, and thank you for reading my long winded drama.
I am new here and have been browsing around good and educational stuff...
I happen to be a BS, I just found out one week ago my SO has been cheating on me. I found out through the call log on our cell phone bill, I googled the phone numbers and they all came up as escort ads( 6 of them). I had confronted him about this and he told me he only received oral from one girl. We have been together for 8 years, he is always out of town because of work, I only get so see him 8-10 days a month. Today I went to have an HIV and STD done. Today he also had revealed that he has been doing it for 8 months. Doing what he won't say. He told me it was a game he was playing? I asked him for the webpage and his login info..he said there is none?.. he had phoned all these girls, with the exception of one, so I don't know if he txt her first, and then she called? These calls all last between 2-4 mins.. not much conversation! My question to ya'll is how long will it take for him to be completely honest? To finally reveal it all to me (not the gory details)? We had been to 2 counseling sessions, he quit because he said "I don't like to be analyzed".. is this a normal side effect? Does it sound like he has an addiction? I had given him the info for this site, hopefully he will join. I am worried about him, I love this man very much, I want to make sure he gets help, how do I start? He does break down and cry when I talk to him on the phone, but he won't call me, yeah he is out of town but it has never stopped him before. (guilt) He will be 60 this year and I am 42, all these girls are in their early 20's...Could he be having a later mid-life crisis? He has begged me to give him a second chance, he sounds remorseful ON THE PHONE, but if you feel that much guilt wouldn't you want to be in contact with the person you want to forgive you? I don't get any of that. I am still in the shock stage because everyday new information is being revealed, I don't know how I can get past this stage unless he totally comes clean and becomes transparent. I thank you in advance for any info, and thank you for reading my long winded drama.
It sounds like your SO is an addict, as many of us are. A difference I see is that he's utilizing escort services, while most of the active CS in this group have a stronger emotional tie to the behavior.
Counseling is good. You're a very caring person to hang in there with him, but he ultimately needs to want to help himself. Good luck!
But I am with with PandD. He needs to want to help himself. Your negatives are he says he does not want to be analyzed and quit therapy and is not calling you and expressing his love and remorse. It is not uncommon that he does not have all the answers in explaining himself.. But he needs to let you know that he his trying to come up with those answers.