Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Hi there. Some of you in here probably remember me...I haven't posted in a while, but I did share my story a while back and found a lot of strength from this group. A quick update:
My wife and I divorced at the end of the year. It wasn't what I wanted at the time, but I'm realizing it was probably best for both of us. We were young and maybe not the greatest match even when not even considering the affair. We've been able to stay civil since the divorce, and I can say personally that I'm doing OK. I think she is too.
In the last few months, I met someone new, and things have been great. Right away, I told her pretty much my whole story, and she hasn't judged me at all. In fact, she said she's done similar things, and she understands how people can be weak. It feels so good to be open with her about this and not feel devalued. All in all, things are going great, and I'm very happy.
Today, the exOW messaged me out of the blue. It had been nearly a year since any contact. She said she wanted to check in with me and hoped I was doing well. Seems harmless and I'm not worried about anything striking up (she lives multiple states away and I'm just not interested...I've learned my lesson). But I'm wondering if I should respond to the message in any way, or just ignore it? And should I tell my current GF that I received the message, as I've been open with her to this point about my past?
My wife and I divorced at the end of the year. It wasn't what I wanted at the time, but I'm realizing it was probably best for both of us. We were young and maybe not the greatest match even when not even considering the affair. We've been able to stay civil since the divorce, and I can say personally that I'm doing OK. I think she is too.
In the last few months, I met someone new, and things have been great. Right away, I told her pretty much my whole story, and she hasn't judged me at all. In fact, she said she's done similar things, and she understands how people can be weak. It feels so good to be open with her about this and not feel devalued. All in all, things are going great, and I'm very happy.
Today, the exOW messaged me out of the blue. It had been nearly a year since any contact. She said she wanted to check in with me and hoped I was doing well. Seems harmless and I'm not worried about anything striking up (she lives multiple states away and I'm just not interested...I've learned my lesson). But I'm wondering if I should respond to the message in any way, or just ignore it? And should I tell my current GF that I received the message, as I've been open with her to this point about my past?
Your GF sounds like an open-minded woman, and I believe in as much transparency as possible. If I were you, I would tell her, in a light, nonchalant way, that the OW contacted you and you sent the message that you are no longer interested (as so to remove any doubt in your GF's mind). As far as the exOW, I would either not respond or send a short response letting her know you hope she is well, but you are now in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful lady.