It is our 17th month since Dday today. By the way, in case you didn't notice the date today is 10-11-12. We are now one month away from a year and a half from Dday. Seems like no time at all yet such a long time. I have changed so much. Cole has changed so much. WE have changed so much.

I still hurt, I still cry. I pray a lot. I am still under church discipline. The good news is that I am much more peaceful. I feel more stable. (except when my hormones are freaking out. Stupid pre-menopause) I am very very thankful. I understand the changes that I have made that must be permanent. I know that I must always be on guard and more cautious than the average person. I understand my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

This month is significant because 2 years ago in October was when it all began. I suppose to a degree it started before that. Light flirting. But it was October of 2010 when it got started in earnest. 7 mos of sex addicted craziness starting with OM#1 who moved away in Dec., followed by cyber play and finally OM#2 for the last 6 weeks.

I became nearly a different person during that time and I am nearly a different person now than I was before. I say nearly because, of course, I am the same person but much has changed. I like this person I am becoming though. I mourn the losses and the scars, but I am thankful for the positive changes in my marriage and in myself. I love my life and I love my H so much.