Welcome Cindy. And don't worry, ALL of my posts are long winded. LOL These situations are rarely simple enough for one paragraph!

I am not a cheater. I am the resident BS who was stupid and inmoral enough to justify having affairs with MM because of the deep pain my divorcing him X has been causing ever since I married in 1985. He is amongst other things, a serial cheater who deserted me in July of 2012 for the ugliest OW in the history of OW. X has actually been diagnosed with a PD. Avoidant Personality Disorder, not Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If he does have NPD, get out, and get out now! Basically if you can find a way to cut off his Narcissistic Supply Source, he'll leave you, and it shouldn't take long!

Keep us posted and Welcome To The Family. This is a great group and we all care. A lot.

Thank you both for the welcome!

TantricGoddes, I am making an assumption about NPD. In the post where I tell my story, I list some of the things that cause me to believe that. Someone who has experience with a narcissist believes he shows several red flags.

What is the Narcissistic Supply Source?

When I was very young (22) I was the 'other woman' in an 1 1/2 year affair with a 33 year old married man, so I have been on that side, as well. he, too, was a serial cheater...frankly, would screwed anything with a pulse. He set up threesomes with one of his friends and then told me as he was dumping me that part of the reason was he would 'Always know that you f**ked Bob'.

Not looking for any sympathy, tho. I was a big girl then and I am a big girl now...I made my own bed both times.

OMG Cindy I can't believe the MM said that to you, back when you were young! That's horrid! And he was the one who set it up?? Seriously.

Forgot to touch on the topic of this current OM wanting to set up threesomes with you, etc. Am I correct that you two have only had sex one time? How on EARTH would he think you're at a point where you'd want to involve other people? Doesn't involved other people increase the risk of exposing the A? Or are you and H in an open relationship?

That is all anyone ever is to a Narcissist. Basically, they crave it like a drug! Research it online. Dr. Sam Vaknin has NPD, but he has written a book about it. PD's are a serious mental health condition that are basically darn near impossible to treat!

Seriously, somebody with a PD will never be a good bet in a relationship! PLEASE GET OUT!

Wow Met Too: "am a married cheater who is involved with a single man who is showing all signs of being a narcissist. Yep".. that's me. PM me.

I will check that out, TantricGoddes. Thanks!

SweetBella1: Yes, I sure can pick 'em. Apparently, I have learned nothing in the 30 years since...

My H and I are not in an open relationship...and this involving other people makes no sense to me, for exactly the reason you state. He said the other night that finding another woman was 'key' to us seeing each other regularly. I said 'I see', rather coldly. He said, 'No, you don't see. It is not about me having sex with someone else, it is about US.' ???

If I were outside looking in, I would wonder at the idiot who entertain such crap for even one minute...:(

I am glad I found this group. I am feeling better...less weepy...since I started posting here.

theiris...I did PM you. Look forward to talking to you.

Welcome Cindy. Im sorry you find yourseld here, but This is a great group. Very supportive. Keep posting, you'll gain strength that you need here.

Cindy - I was married to a narcissist. I'm pretty sure he was also a sociopath. At least from the checklists and such that I have seen and his behavior while we were together (5 years). I am currently the "other woman." It's all so complicated.

I don't get the whole, "sleeping with another woman is about us." That's total bullshit in my opinion if it makes you the least bit uncomfortable.

Suggestions of sleeping with another woman (quite likely he would never follow through) is a tactic to make you feel inadequate. Mine suggested the same with no intention of following through, as he really did not like sex. It was just a manipulation to make me feel I was not enough for him, inadequate, just lucky to have his attention.

I think you are probably right. He will never go through with it. He cancels every date he makes with me. The one time he did have sex with me, we had made a date for that evening and he cancelled earlier in the week. Then, he happened to be online that evening and spoke of how he had daydreamed that I would just show up at his door. I was able to go to him spontaneously (maybe his 10 minute girl wasn't available that evening).

I have the story of an even more bizarre suggestion he made, but I am not quite ready to share it yet. I will, though.

Oh, Jaded, sweetie, I'm so sorry!