So my husband and I have been married for eight years, together for 12. All in all, I have to admit hes always been emotionally unavailable. He can be self righteous, moody when hes stressed from work or losing a ball game. When hes upset he closes up, recluses and you dont know what hes thinking. When we have had arguments, he has shut me out, and been insensitive to my feelings, blaming me for all the issues in the relationship. The straw which broke the camels back was when he told me If I didnt like it, leave. Wow I was so hurt. How can someone be so selfish I thought. So.. I started looking for houses and told him I think we should separate. He was responsive according to my wishes, did not fight for us at all, in fact he was very aloof about the whole thing, which angered me and made me feel even more non important to him! In the meantime I met someone who actually paid attention to me (maybe too much), cared for me and listened to what I have to say. This guy is a little more assertive so unfortunately I got suckered into his affection, attention etc, and was very vulnerable when I met him : ( For six months I was really thinking my husband and I were done so I figured what difference does it make if I like or see someone else. I told the other guy no sex, he has respected that.. two months ago after sending my husband a for sure, house listing he says he wants to work on things?? This is the same person who has pushed me away for years, we have been in separate bedrooms for over two years, was not supportive of me emotionally in various situations and now has a revelation?? My response to him was that I wasnt sure.. I had felt so rejected and pushed away from him and I wasnt sure what I wanted . .. I honestly havent felt close to him in years based upon his behavior, I wish so much I felt differently. Now I am stricken with all of this guilt for meeting this other man. I feel like a horrible person. I feel like Ive hurt my husband and this other man based on my selfish need for emotional connection. Im worried I will never be able to work things out with him because of being with someone else... it makes me sick : ( Thanks for listening ..
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