Cheaters and Betrayeds Helping Each Other Community Group
This is a group where cheaters and betrayeds can come to try to help each other better understand infidelity from the perspective of the other side because understanding can often lead to healing. Members can ask each other questions, share experiences, and provide insights and opinions without judgments or animosity. If you have a chip on your shoulder, an axe to grind,...
I have been thinking about all the good that has come from our hard work following my A's. My A's....so bad. Not just an ordinary A but a 7 mo sex addicted, predatory, man crazed rampage, started because one very skilled womanizer came on to me and I allowed myself to cross boundary after boundary. 2 OM and a host of cyber OM. This was all so crazily out of character for me and i just can't seem to rectify the "real" me with the "crazed" me. I carry a deep sadness that often overwhelms me still, almost 2 years later. It is a very dark cloud. But there are silver linings on this cloud and we continue to nurture those silver linings. 3 in particular.
1) I have grown as a person through all that I have done to work on the rebuilding of myself, and I have never been so spiritually focused in my life
2) My marriage is almost like we did a restart and we are doing it right this time. the books we read together have been wonderful for us.
3) I get opportunities to help others on this sight and sometimes people I know. The book of our story plus all the articles we (mostly Cole) have written is in the editing stages and though I am scared about going public, I am excited to see what opportunities develop because of it.
What are your silver linings? -or- if you aren't quite there yet, what silver linings are you striving for?
1) I have grown as a person through all that I have done to work on the rebuilding of myself, and I have never been so spiritually focused in my life
2) My marriage is almost like we did a restart and we are doing it right this time. the books we read together have been wonderful for us.
3) I get opportunities to help others on this sight and sometimes people I know. The book of our story plus all the articles we (mostly Cole) have written is in the editing stages and though I am scared about going public, I am excited to see what opportunities develop because of it.
What are your silver linings? -or- if you aren't quite there yet, what silver linings are you striving for?
He learned how much I loved him and I learned how much he loved me. Even though his affair would tell a different story, his rebuilding was pure remorse and love.
I saw him show incredible courage when he confessed to each of my siblings and father about his affair and oc.
THANKYOU gabbi.
Speaking of the incredible courage, confessing to the family, this is what I now must do because of the book coming out, and soon. Hardly any family members currently know.
My silver lining is because has been a new awareness of self, a renewed faith in God, and a great wisdom about human error. For years I could not understand how people in marriages violated those sacred vows.
It is one of the reasons I never wanted to marry. I have seen many do it to individuals whom they claimed to love. I was very self righteous, and condemning.
Then I became that person. Entering into someone's marriage because they asked me to come in, and I needed to feel alive. ( no excuse) While I'm doing this I am feeling like God is watching, and because I believe in the wrath I am praying, committing sin, and praying...........feeling awfully hypocritical. I could/would not, stop.
Then I became strong. Like God said" hello my silly child, come sit over here all by yourself and feel real love"! I went. I have never felt so alive. I have solace, because i asked for forgiveness while sitting through the pain of losing a love, and refining myself.
the silver lining is laced with gold, and I am a winner. I am a winner because I became human. I left a long term relationship, had an affair, lost everything, and gained everything!
Thanks for the post.