I posted on the Cheaters board but I thought I would try here as well. A little background- My H is the CS. He is full of remorse, guilt, shame and self loathing (his words) about what he did to our relationship and how he hurt me. We went to visit his family who live far from us over the holidays; none of them know what happened. While we were there I observed a behavior pattern in his brother that was evident in H when he was cheating. He constantly was texting but if his wife came in the room he shut it down. He disappeared while we were out shopping for about 15 minutes. He wasn’t really present with us, his mind was elsewhere. After 2 days of observing this I asked my H that if someone he cared for and respected had told him just what the full consequences would be. He said he thought he knew what they were and made excuses anyway. I told him about his brother and he watched him for the next 2 days and agreed with me that he is having an affair; whether it is an EA or PA we are not sure. He is thinking about talking to him. My question is if someone had tried to tell you CS about the extent of the hurt that is caused by affairs would it have been enough to stop. I think if the CS is caught up in the high of lust and excitement it might backfire but it is worth a try to avoid heartache for his wife.
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