Caring Parents of Estranged Adult Children Community Group
We have given our lives to our children and they reject us. We still love them but this love is now frozen in time. How do we deal with the resulting chaos of our lives? We talk and we listen to one another as we cope with this loss and assault on our sensibilities. Respect in our thinking and language are a must.
We can't control estrangement. We can't fix estrangement. We didn't choose estrangement. We have no power over estrangement. So what do we choose to do with it?
We can choose to let it ruin us. We can choose to let it rule us. We can choose to let is become an obsession. We can choose to let it guilt us. We can choose to let it disable us. We can choose to let it make us bitter. We can choose to let it drown our love for our estranged adult children. We can choose to let it make us hate.
Or we can choose to not let it take us under. We can choose to not let it be the center of our lives. We an choose to not accept the blame for it. We can choose to not let it limit us. We can choose to not become bitter. We can choose to become hateful. We can choose to not let it take the love we will always have for our estranged adult children. We can choose not to let it stop us from praying for them. We can choose not to let it take away our faith.
We can choose to let it ruin us. We can choose to let it rule us. We can choose to let is become an obsession. We can choose to let it guilt us. We can choose to let it disable us. We can choose to let it make us bitter. We can choose to let it drown our love for our estranged adult children. We can choose to let it make us hate.
Or we can choose to not let it take us under. We can choose to not let it be the center of our lives. We an choose to not accept the blame for it. We can choose to not let it limit us. We can choose to not become bitter. We can choose to become hateful. We can choose to not let it take the love we will always have for our estranged adult children. We can choose not to let it stop us from praying for them. We can choose not to let it take away our faith.
It does take time to get to that place, however. In the very beginning, I don't think people can even grasp what you said, Maria. It would be so much better if they could but, like any loss, our first emotions are shock, disbelief, anger, questions, and all the rest. And, unfortunately, for a while, our estrangements do consume us.
I would suggest to anyone new to estrangement, to copy this post, keep it close and read it from time to time. It is so right on and once you get through all the initial emotions, cling to this great piece of wisdom. And it can be applied to other situations in our lives, as well.
Thank you for this, Maria. I needed the reminder. Hugs......