Caring Parents of Estranged Adult Children Community Group
We have given our lives to our children and they reject us. We still love them but this love is now frozen in time. How do we deal with the resulting chaos of our lives? We talk and we listen to one another as we cope with this loss and assault on our sensibilities. Respect in our thinking and language are a must.
Over the last several hours, i had a discussion with mom about the posting on this site by one "sadindeed".
This is what I have to say.
When you exhibit harmful and disrespectful behavior, you can expect that your mom and dad will call you on it. It is not advisable to threaten your mom when she requests communication.
It is not advisable to threaten your mom and take her on suicide rides around the city to teach her a lesson in keeping her mouth shut, nor is it advisable to attempt to humiliate her in any way.
Daughter, it is also not wise to lie by omission about the history you share with your parents by rewriting this history here on the net and eliminating all things positive they have done in your life. Examples are providing a roof over your head in your late 20's when you were studying to get your career going. It includes your parents giving you a car at that time. It includes your dad drawing up plans for the various renovations for your proposed commercial space for you at no cost. It includes your dad driving you to and from construction supply places to deliver the material for your renovations you were doing. This rewriting of history seems to be an attempt to escape responsibility now for doing wrong to your parents.
Son, remember the many years your dad gave gave you employment at sweetheart circumstances well into your twenties. You and your new family were provided with acomodation at a nominal rate, remember. You were assisted at every level to make your life easier. Now all we see from you is swearing and anger at your mom.
To both of you, I recommend that you should just do what is right and either contact your parents directly or through a mediator in order to set up communication to resolve the various issues which are still bothering you. We know you are hurting when you post such awful stuff here on this site. The issues raised have to be dealt with at a personal level respecting the rights and feelings of everyone involved.
You can also count on us, parents to continue to love you, but this does not mean that we will tolerate any abuse and nonsense from you. I consider that both of you are in fact very fortunate for having us as your parents. I would just like to add for both of you all i can say is that you have had a truly amazing and strong woman as a mother. xfmlg
This is what I have to say.
When you exhibit harmful and disrespectful behavior, you can expect that your mom and dad will call you on it. It is not advisable to threaten your mom when she requests communication.
It is not advisable to threaten your mom and take her on suicide rides around the city to teach her a lesson in keeping her mouth shut, nor is it advisable to attempt to humiliate her in any way.
Daughter, it is also not wise to lie by omission about the history you share with your parents by rewriting this history here on the net and eliminating all things positive they have done in your life. Examples are providing a roof over your head in your late 20's when you were studying to get your career going. It includes your parents giving you a car at that time. It includes your dad drawing up plans for the various renovations for your proposed commercial space for you at no cost. It includes your dad driving you to and from construction supply places to deliver the material for your renovations you were doing. This rewriting of history seems to be an attempt to escape responsibility now for doing wrong to your parents.
Son, remember the many years your dad gave gave you employment at sweetheart circumstances well into your twenties. You and your new family were provided with acomodation at a nominal rate, remember. You were assisted at every level to make your life easier. Now all we see from you is swearing and anger at your mom.
To both of you, I recommend that you should just do what is right and either contact your parents directly or through a mediator in order to set up communication to resolve the various issues which are still bothering you. We know you are hurting when you post such awful stuff here on this site. The issues raised have to be dealt with at a personal level respecting the rights and feelings of everyone involved.
You can also count on us, parents to continue to love you, but this does not mean that we will tolerate any abuse and nonsense from you. I consider that both of you are in fact very fortunate for having us as your parents. I would just like to add for both of you all i can say is that you have had a truly amazing and strong woman as a mother. xfmlg
Sadindeed would get a better outlook on life if he/she developed a positive mindset of problem solving instead of trying to run a smear campain on this or any other site. xfmlg
Maybe our EC do miss us, and are extremely hurt that they can not have those good times back?
But our hurtful deeds are not something that shows them we love them anymore. Respect is a big one for my EC. When I show her respect by not contacting her or her kids when she asks me to, she responds with respect towards me, she talks to me. I have learned that as an adult, and as a child I owe her the amount of respect I expect to receive from her. This realization has made all the difference in our relationship. I wish you the strength to heal what is broken.
I have been reading some of the recent posts here and I must say, that other than "trolls" who would come on here occasionally, members were supportive, encouraging and respectful. FYI, xfmlg is a highly intelligent man, and conveys his thoughts clearly enough for all to understand. Your reply to this post and to others I have read are condescending and really....intentionally disrespectful. Xfmlg and another member here are being more gracious to you than you deserve. Your immaturity comes through in all your replies.
Sorry I came back to Caring to find some things have not changed. I, personally, would not deal with your games which involve people going thru serious relationship issues. Look into your soul and see if you like who you are?